I've got 2 months left of my funded phd, have got a fair amount of my thesis near-ish to completion and am intending, supported by my supervisor, to submit fairly near to the end-of-funding deadline. I had imagined that, at this stage, I would be utterly immersed and intensely focussed on writing. But I'm not. I'm still procrastinating like mad and getting work done in deeply uninspired -and uninspiring - dribs and drabs, not working particularly long hours and find I can very easily switch off from the PhD (though I am still engaged by my topic). I feel I should, and want and have the opportunity now to be completely immersed in writing but I'm not. Is/ has anyone else experiencing/ experienced this at the final 'writing-up' stage?
Me three!!! Though I am also finding that there is additional researcha and writing that I want/need to do on my PhD, that in the end I think is making the work richer and deeper and hopefully more valuable. ( the joys of doing an inductive method that yields "my" theory rather than testing an existing theory!...I can see that this could be a life's work, and in some sense, have sort of shifted round to seeing that yes, it will be, even after the PhD is submitted.)
I think Lara posted in one of the threads about the ambivalence that is faced during the end of the PhD, in the writing up phase...in the Joan Bolker book. You want to finish and write, but you find it hard to motivate yourself.
A quick Google of PhD writing up ambivalence reveals any number of scholarly articles on this! Indeed, perhaps one could do a PhD on it!!!!
So it is indeed something very "real" that seems to be a very common part of the whole PhD process.
Thank you for your replies, Olivia and Smilodon. After following your google search suggestion, Olivia, I found a useful and inspiring article written from a social scientific/ pyschoanalytic/ literary perspective - Smith, M. (2004)'Killing the Angel in a Room of One's Own. Being as Unconscious as Possible When Writing up Qualitative Research'- I shall try out the article's methods and report back if the longed-for writing flood-gates open!
On days like today when I have a 5 minute attention span, I just try to work with that...and work for 5 minutes--over the course of a day it adds up to something anyway, 2,457 words in a rough draft...very madman...but there is structure, there is plan, there is a conclusion, and I know where I need to map out the rest of the writing...if I can do another 2500 words tomorrow, that is 2/3 of what I am trying to produce--a third day and a working draft would be all done--HOORAY!!! and this done whilst reading Liz Jones' diary ( I am getting addicted, I want to know more about her sheep dog!), this forum, my horoscope, etc...on and off between my 5 minute writing spurts!
I came accross one article which was about the possible reasons for the ambivalent feelings that might surface towards the completion of a PhD - mainly, I suppose, to do with fears about the future and having to let go of this strange, all-consuming and utterly self-absorbing and privildeged PhD process. The article I referenced was about the psychological/ emotional blocks to writing - with some wonderful quotes from writers such as Virginia Woolf, Dylan Thomas and Ted Hughes.
What I got from it was the reminder that - after 3 years of thinking around one subject - on an unconscious level you know what you need/ want to write and have to find the space and trust to let that emerge onto the page - trusting that you don't need to force it but that it will arrive. A reminder, I suppose, that all the diversions - whether its this forum, horoscopes or endless tea-making - are part of the work of 'cooking' the words! Or maybe I've just reinterpreted the article to justify my endless and, unlike you, non-productive procrastinations
weetabix, what you just said resonated with how i have been feeling for the past couple of weeks! endless amounts of procrastination and unproductivity - i feel terribly guilty, and really want to work hard, but everyday i just cant muster up the motivation to actually do it!
i am really interested in the article you cited, i will definately check it out, and hope it might inspire me! i only have 2 months left and i HAVE to submit my thesis or i will be TERMINATED (literally!).. but knowing this, i still cant get motivated. i think like others have said here, it can be fear and the immense task of it all. but like alot of forum members have advised, to just take it one bite at a time. little tasks.
and I agree with Olivia, i have such a short attention span, that i have to use the egg timer website , to work in tiny little shifts. sometimes when it's really bad, i will just work for 5 or 10 minutes.
but sometimes, when i tell myself i *only* have to work for 15 minutes, it usually ends up becoming an hour. sometimes i just need to get going and have a little push and then i am sailing away...
today has been very unproductive, despite all my plans and hopes! only worked for half an hour, and then had lunch, then felt sleepy and slept most of the day! i am wide awake now, so i am going to work through the night now. but in short bursts, like 15 minutes, and then have a 5 minute break. and so on!
but yes, you are most definately NOT alone!!
PostgraduateForum Is a trading name of FindAUniversity Ltd
FindAUniversity Ltd, 77 Sidney St, Sheffield, S1 4RG, UK. Tel +44 (0) 114 268 4940 Fax: +44 (0) 114 268 5766
An active and supportive community.
Support and advice from your peers.
Your postgraduate questions answered.
Use your experience to help others.
Enter your email address below to get started with your forum account
Enter your username below to login to your account
An email has been sent to your email account along with instructions on how to reset your password. If you do not recieve your email, or have any futher problems accessing your account, then please contact our customer support.
or continue as guest
To ensure all features on our website work properly, your computer, tablet or mobile needs to accept cookies. Our cookies don’t store your personal information, but provide us with anonymous information about use of the website and help us recognise you so we can offer you services more relevant to you. For more information please read our privacy policy
Agree Agree