Can we have a Valentines day smilie please? I need to be more romantic. I was stopped in the street by some tv interviewers today for a talking head thing, they asked me about the most romantic thing I have ever done and I couldn't remember ever doing anything romantic... this has to have been some sort of a wake up call. Apparently, my bewildered, confused and flustered response went out on TV tonight. :-(

It really made me think.

I'm heading for a heartbreak this Valentines, so, yes, mods, a smiley would help.

Right, let's see if I can wade in with my world-weary perspective and hard-earned knowledge. In a word, Valentine's Day is crap. It's just part of some vast, cynical corporate machine (sorry, running out of words today, so having to resort to hackneyed phrases), probably part owned by Staples, WH Smith and Google (which now seems to have a hand in everything), with the sole intention of purveying cards wit glitter and the promise of love for a bare minimum of about £2. I don't mean to wax lyrical (sorry again...), but I hate Valentine's Day.
Here's my advice on finding love - and I haven't plagiarised it or anything, just adapted it from a corny film starring another one of my arch nemeses, Kevin Costner. It's called the Build Them a Field Principle. It does get a bit cognitive this, because it's all in the mind. But I'll have a proper PhD, unlike that Paul McKenna. Ready? Let's go...

If you build them a field, they will come. A phrase originally referring to building a bespoke field for base ball playing apparitions, this can in fact be applied to all aspects of life. Metaphorically, it can be taken to mean 'create the right circumstances, the right frame of mind - and you can have what you want', which can include things like a PhD in 3 years or even a loving, monogamous partner. It's also important to be as open and friendly as possible too, because misery, and loneliness funnily enough, love company. If you've ever wondered to yourself, as you've sat at your desk working, why the Flash Harry with his mobile phone is such a sensation or Chatty Cally is such a hit with the guys, it's because they're open, chatty, well versed in popular culture and they've got their fingers on the social scene pulse.
Marketing, a term often abused in dreadful ways and frequently taken out of context, is an integral component of the Build Them a Field Principle. They're not going to come if your field does not have an ice cream van. Metaphorically, this means you've got to market your assets, put yourselves on display. Eschewing any notions of vulgarity, by this I mean putting on display what you've got. So show off you lightning wit, cultural awareness and so forth. Birds do it, bees do it (well the male drones) and I was amazed to discover that cat fleas do it. So there has to be something in it.
So there you have it, a practical and easy to apply approach to relationships this Valentine's. A word of caution to all the ladies of this forum though...There are a species of men classified as Players, who are only after one thing, called one-night-stands. So be safe and use your judgement and intuition (and if it's impaired by drink, ask a mate to use theirs).

Bug - I've been reading your posts and you need to send in a subtle intermediary. That way you need not lose your dignity. Being analytical means that even if you are heartbroken for a couple of days, hopefully you'll be able to think your way out of it and move on...

Eska - that is hilarious that you couldn't think of anything. The other day I was wondering what had been the "happiest moment of my life"(wish there was a little TM symbol). I couldn't think of anything in particular... But just because we can't think of cheesy 'moments' doesn't mean anything. Maybe the likes of us just make every moment of our lives brilliant/romantic!

Walminski - I like the idea of your baseball field method. I do tend to think that if you are doing your best to do things that make you happy, be it professionally, socially, hobbies, whatever, then you will naturally run into likeminded people because you are being yourself. But you must first of all be very honest with yourself about what it is that really makes you happy, even if it's weird!

Walminski- your post is ace. I really like most of your posts.. great to have you on the forum!
I am not into Valentine's either, but a romantic smilie for PGF would be nice, I reckon..

(sprout)

I would like a valentine smily - but also a pancake one(s) as well - maybe some lemon and sugar to go with it, and a frying pan. Shrove Tuesday is one of my two favourite days of the year - the other being nov 5th. I've convinced my husband (who was brought up as a reasonably strict catholic, but has never been to church in his adult life) that Jesus ate pancakes from Shrove Tuesday for 40 days and 40 nights - hehehe, more pancakes for me :-)

Not sure I really buy in to the valentines thing though, I would rather my hubby was nice and bought me stuff as a surprise on dates I am not expecting it, then I think it comes across much less laboured - and you can see the stress on his face as he zooms off to ASDA (nice!) on the 13th to try and pick up ANYTHING like a chick flick dvd or similar in the small hope it is suitable haha.

Sorry guys Smilies a bottom of the list atm and there is so much other stuff going on it's very unlikely your request will be met on this occasion. sorry
PGFT

Hi all, thank you for your responses. I'm not too bothered about valentines day really. I usually use it as an excuse to buy myself a box of chocs and scoff them all - it's a long way between Christmas and Easter. Also, I particularly like Tesco Value chocs and no-one would buy them for a present, so it's my Tesco Value chocs day.

However, the incident brought it home to me that I am not romantic in the traditional sense - yes, I've been single for ages and I would like to redress that, I'd love to meet someone etc, etc; but what really struck me is that I can remember boyfriends doing romantic things for me, but I don't think I have ever actually done anything romantic for one of them - it felt like a ghost of romance past moment - wake or shake up - and it was broadcast on national TV - it felt like a giant finger had pressed down on my forehead, from up in the sky, letting me know what a romance scrooge I am. I bought my last boyfriend a top of the range dictionary for his birthday and he was most upset... (although at the time I couldn't understand why and thought it was a fabulous present) I did get one a guitar once, that's better, but I think I need to be more romantic generally. I'm also famous for being completely crap at flirting.

Thank you for the post Wally, very insightful as ever. I think my feild may need a bit of romance on offer, a bit of charm, possibly.

Crikey, this is where my time goes! Since coming back on here I've been late for work this morning and now half an hour's passed and I haven't done my admin stuff.

Love ya all X:-x