Dear Forum Members,

The moment has come where I am three weeks away from my viva. It is strange how fear keeps shifting from one area to the other during the different processes in the degree. Initially, it was fear of not knowing where to begin and to narrow down the focus of my thesis, then came the fear that I might not be doing enough, or that I'm not writing and reading enough, that was overcome but only to be followed by fear of whether it all fits into one neat and coherent structure, then there were the annual reviews. My final fear (or so I thought it would be) was whether I'd finish the write-up on time for the deadline - and after months of sleepless nights, constant work from the crack of dawn, it was handed in and I thought that would be the end of the story. And now this: fear of the viva. Will I be failed, will I be asked to resubmit? If so, I cannot afford paying uni fees for the year/time during which I make corrections (at my uni, resubmission requires re-enrolling and paying fees). So unless I get pass with minor or major corrections, then I'll just have to give up on years of hard work.

I've had my stomach in knots for the past 18 months! I feel like I've been living in fear for so long that I've almost forgotten what it's like to enjoy the simpler joys of life. Is this normal? Does everyone panic before their viva, or could my fear suggest that there is a genuine danger that my work is not up to scratch?

My supervisor said my work is fine and I should pass, though he cannot guarantee what the examiners will finally make of my thesis. But that still won't silence the fear since I read his comments as: if I were your examiner I wouldn't fail you, but your actual examiners may do otherwise! So I might be failed after all.

Please help, I think I'm losing the plot!

Baltar on the edge of a paranoia breakdown.

I think all of the concerns you have listed are probably the same for most students undertaking a PhD. My first concerns were am I good enough? Do I really know what I am doing? Will my endless experiments fall neatly into a nice thesis? Will I get any good results? How do I write a thesis of that magnitude? Have I included all of the relevant references? Is my thesis good enough to pass? Am I good enough to get through the viva? Yes I have had, and still have very similar worries to you. I am not yet at submission although in the new year I hope to. However, I think you need to feel good about what you have acheived. You have a thesis submitted with a supervisor who would pass you! (His comment about the examiners is likely to be a flippant get-out-clause!) I think that you need to focus not on a pass or fail, but what you have acheived in the contribution of your thesis. What are the good points as I am sure their are many? If there are errors take a list in with you to show that you have noted these. Supervisors are not likely to allow an inadequate thesis to be submitted and examiners are not usually there to make you fail. In times of worry/panic it is easy to let these thoughts and fears rule you and as such end up putting this viva on a huge pedestal. Take some time out too, just to reflect on how all of those other previous fears were just unnecessary worries as you have surpassed them. This will be the same when you look back on it in a few weeks time.