First off, just want to say that I'm so glad this site exists! It helps a great deal just knowing other people are suffering, too. I know that sounds awful, but I'm not trying to be mean. I know you understand. Anyway, just wanted to express what I have had to deal with and get feedback if possible. I'm a PhD student in Canada. Here the average number of years to finish is 5 years. The university will kick you out in 7.5. Very different from the 3 and 4 year-long PhD's I've read about - you're so lucky! :) Anyway, I crossed the 4-year mark a few months ago and since then have been very anxious (and almost desparate) to finsih. A few problems lie in my way: 1. I have a very hands-off supervisor, 2. the subject I work on is completely different from my lab and my supervisor's interest/expertise, 3. for the past 4 years I have been working in a separate building from my supervisor and meeting him every few weeks, and. 4. My supervisor, though he has the best intentions, is an incredibly harsh individual. He'll just make you feel horrible about yourself to get his point across, 5. We have experienced 2 lab moves in my 4.5 years and that has put some strain on progress. Anyway, with all that said, we're now all in the same building - and room! :) Sometime in April I scheduled a thesis advisory committee meeting for early May. I guess the proposal that I sent to everyone a week before the scheduled meeting wasn't up to par and it alarmed my supervisor (though I sent it to him before I sent it out to my committee members and he said he had nothing to comment on), and so he postponed the meeting for a couple weeks (it's coming up next week) and has proceeded to spend almost everyday with me to 'get me on track'. This is fantastic in one way because I've never had that before. He actually listened to what my hypothesis was, why I thought that, etc. And I gave him papers to read to help him understand. He challenged me too which helped my reading. Why I am so sad about it: because this should have happened 4 years ago. The more he spends time with me, the more I realize how much I missed out and how much more time I need to 'catch up'. I'm feeling really helpless because I don't want to be here forever. I secretely mentally checked out months ago. What I also can't get over is the fact that I could have helped myself more. I could have gone to other people to help me (because in my building there were two experts in the field I was working on), but didn't go as much as I should. Anyway, all these thoughts are affecting my performance. I want nothing more but to rock my committee meeting on Tuesday, but I can't read a paper without thinking about my past and what I should have done differently, what it would have been like with a different supervisor/ or under different circumstances. I just need help right now. Tips to get me out of the dumps.. Moral suport. Someone? Anyone? Ack. (Sorry for the novel - I actually reached the limit! :))

Hello Pickles!! Here's another PhD student in Canada. First of all, huge respect for you, that you have managed a lot on your own, working in a different building independently, created your own working hypothesis and tried to follow it, sought help on your own. So are you now trying to get the advisory committee together to tell you, how much you've left to do before being ripe to graduate? But haven't you had any advisory committee meetings before?
The other thing - no regrets. You have been on your own, probably working hard - that you did not do everything right, is something your supervisor should be blamed for. I know, blaming him does not create more publications for you. But regret is a poison and useless - it is poisoning you right now for no good reason.
In conclusion - you have nothing to worry about. You have done a lot of work on your own, so just go to this meeting and it will probably turn out better than you'd expect, you get to discuss with other persons who probably have better communication skills than your sup and hopefully also give you constructive advice how to lead yourself to your final.

Just a thought... is your supervisor being so attentive now because you have a committee meeting coming up and it is suddenly going to be apparent to others that he has not been very supportive to you?  And argh!! average 5 yrs!!X?!! Sorry bringing up the negatives - well done you for your efforts so far (up)

Ooh another Canadian's grad student - groovy! Yes, the idea is to get the committee together so that I can tell them what I have left to do in terms of experiments I need to do to write a manuscript for publication, to see if its feasible, etc. and then I can write my thesis VERY soon after. That's the idea, anyway. We'll see what happens. I have had a few committee meetings before. The first one was on another project (I soon changed after a year - I forgot to mention that before), and for the other two which were on the project I am currently working on I guess he never paid much attention because he has never asked me such questions (which are necessary and I totally appreciate) before. I would like think that it is all his fault, but the reality is that it is MY PhD and it is up to me to find the help. I guess I was just clueless until now. I do hope it goes well, though! Thanks for the encouragement.

Hi Java. You hit it. I think it's going to look bad on him (though I am not going to look so hot either!) that he hasn't been very attentive. He' s actually notorious for it. In the beginning I thought I was invinscible and I thought I could handle this project with an unattentive supervisor, but let's just say I have learned my lesson and am paying for it. Anyway, yes... 5 year average. You hear about those people who finish in 3.5 years (extrememly rare), but then you have those who you swear have been there forever! :) I hope to be closer to the former side!

======= Date Modified 18 May 2009 10:56:03 =======
============= Edited by a Moderator =============
Post removed -Irrelevant advertising-

The self-help section is that way, Payal -------------> (just out the door, and keep walking).

Yeah Payal, I hate the taste of SPAM; it's really artificial, cheap and crap.