Would I be able to put up something I wrote for a PhD application for Edinburgh Uni and I was wondering if you fine people can be a help (as you would know more about the wording of things and more technical than family.)

I would really like to find out where I maybe going wrong.

Thanks :D

I'll happily take a look :) I think it's ok to post as long as you want to post it.

Here is the PhD I am applying for

I have had experience in working with complex molecules and have an active interest in obtaining compounds from natural sources and it would interest me viewing and interpreting the spectra from these amazing compounds. I have worked with Indole Alkaloids (My favourites) and Quinolines (malaria compounds) in the past and have been fascinated by their complex structure and to be honest, quite awed by them.

What would I take to the PhD? I am more a biological chemist than a straight organic chemist or a pharmaceutical chemist. I have also done herbalism so I am familiar with a lot of the structures to be expected with plants as I can look into the plant source it came from as a certain plant family will have a certain type of compounds which are accessory to the main active compound.

First section: few suggestions:
1. Instead of saying "I have had experience" perhaps you can illuminate on that by saying something like "Over x years I have honed my interest and skill set in working with complex…."- asserts the extent and nature of your experience.
2. Perhaps show how you are interested in obtaining the compounds; say something like "by doing bla bla bla (not actually bla bla bla lol but u know what I mean) I have developed a distinct interest in obtaining.
3. Last sentence sounds literary- make it more objective: how did u work with Alkaloids and what did u learn that u'd take to u in the Phd?

Second section:
Not an expert in your field but I would simply list the qualities directly and succinctly: for example, "I worked with a lot of structures, I developed (they love this word) an interest in looking at plant sources, I am analytical by nature, I have the skill set for research work".

Hope my advice is useful and good luck Janine

Yes it is and thank you very much for your help.

Updated as of today, anything else to tweak?

"Over the last 10 years I have worked with Indole Alkaloids (synthetic cannabinoids) and Quinolines (malaria compounds) and developed an interest and have been fascinated by their complex structure. I have done a couple of diplomas in herbalism and this will help me in this project by using this knowledge of what compounds or active compounds are found in plant families. Which is a help as I am familiar with both synthetic and phytochemistry which will be of help with this project. crazt question mark!!)

What would I take to the PhD? I feel I have the mix of being a herbalist and chemist which is asked for in this role. I have and am still developing my knowledge in herbalism, so, am familiar with a lot of the phytochemical constituents and have developed an interest in the spectroscopy and isolation of the active ingredients. I am extremely analytical and fussy (in a good way!) when preparing solvents and preparation of compounds for running analysis on as well as having a desire to do research on this field."

Just between you guys, I have had a stagnated degree as I didn't do mine in one go, I took longer in doing mine as I initially went for an BSc in 2003 and failed the final year in England and then the issues with the course shutting down. (I wont tell them, I don't need to address the lack of honours here do I?)

I agree with incognito's comments. You definitely need to be more specific in what you are interested in and the techniques you have experience in. You could also add something more personal about you; how you work with others, how you overcome problems etc.

You should probably try to sound a bit more scientific and professional too.. "I have done a couple of diplomas in herbalism" should maybe be changed to something like: "Having completed two diplomas in herbalism, I am very familiar with this subject and feel that I can make a significant contribution to this study". Or something like that.

You also need to ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct. I'm sure someone else can provide better clarity on this using the correct grammatical terms but I know this sentence isn't quite correct: "and developed an interest and have been fascinated by their complex structure". It should be something like: "and developed an interest in, and have been fascinated by, their complex structure". This may seem to be a small difference but it doesn't read correctly without making this change.

You also shouldn't start a sentence with 'which'.

I also wouldn't use the word 'fussy', which I can see you realise has negative connotations since you have added something in brackets after it. You could say you are 'particular' when preparing solvents or 'take great care' or something like that.

In summary, I would suggest the following:
1. Make the cover letter 1 page of A4
2. Talk half about yourself, your interests, your background and why you would be suitable personally for this PhD
3. Talk in the other half about your previous work, your experience, your skill set, your previous use of techniques or similar techniques they mentioned

I hope this helps and good luck!

This is about applying for postdocs but I think it's applicable for PhDs too.

Harsh but true...

http://chronicle.com/forums/index.php/topic,151811.0.html

hi janine
this part from the advert " use in-silico rational drug design methods to identify putative biomolecular targets of a given natural product and to screen natural product libraries against given drug targets. You will prepare natural products using fermentation techniques. You will use molecular modelling methods to identify strategic modifications of natural-product cores that will improve bioactivity and ADME properties. You will devise new ways to derivatize the natural products with synthetic organic methodologies. Biological testing of the natural products derivatives will be performed in collaboration with other research groups at Edinburgh and elsewhere. Initial efforts will focus for instance on derivatives of the antibiotic anisomycin as putative antiproliferative agents, and the identification of novel natural product derivatives that bind cyclophilins as putative antiviral agents."

Perhaps you can consider tailoring your lab abilities to what they are asking in the advertisement. For example that sentence "in-silico rational drug design methods" if you know some of these, then describe what you can do about this part. They can then have a more informative description of your abilities. if you say diploma in herbalism, also describe what the diploma says you can do :-)

very best of luck to you
love satchi