======= Date Modified 15 42 2009 21:42:12 =======
hey guys! need some help! I'm almost finished the 1st year of a science phd, enjoy the work/project/colleagues! Problem is I recently failed my upgrade despite having achieved the most work from all the 1st year students! My upgrade panel have issues with my sups and were extremely biased+ I think it's fair to say I was bullied by them to some extent. Sups have fought tooth and nail to get their decision reversed and the uni have acknowledged their complaints but say I have to repeat the upgrade process regardless! I've just found out that 2 (the worst 2) of the original panel members will be interviewing me again and this will not be changed! So sups have been a bit OTT with trying to prepare me for the next panel basically because there have been official complaints made and are anticipating that i will get a rough time from the panel. I was originally fine with this but I recently started having terrible nightmares about the situation and i'm on the verge of anxiety attacks. I haven't slept properly in ages because of all this worrying, and in a meeting with my supervisors yesterday I cracked up, broke down, and told them I can't continue with my phd because of this (can't continue without the upgrade) they're understandably incredibly angry since they complained so much about the original decision but are also reasonably supportive. I cant face going through any more of this and I feel that if they continue trying to push me with the OTT preparation I'm going to end up worrying myself sick so in a way I've given up. I know it's really stupid to walk away when I'm doing so well, I've worked incredibly hard to get to where I am but I honestly can't face another interview with the same people after how i was treated last time, i feel physically sick when i think about it. What do you guys think i should do?