Signup date: 23 Oct 2020 at 8:48am
Last login: 28 Oct 2020 at 10:27am
Post count: 4
Hey rewt,
You're 100% right about the job market and money. I wasn't planning on leaving unless I found a job I could go to.
I definitely don't do anywhere near 60h a week now, and I don't think I ever will. My supervisor keeps telling me that I won't finish in time yet I've spoken to others who treat their PhD as a 9-5 and they seem to be getting along just fine. Maybe it's just my supervisor... But no, they won't fire me!
Hi,
I've just started my second year of a 3-year biomedical PhD programme. In terms of research, I've managed to do quite a bit and will have finished my first chapter in the next couple of months. However, I feel like my input in this has been quite minimal, as there is a group of us working on a similar project. Now that I'm breaking apart from everyone else I'm realising how much extra support I need because of my inexperience. My Master's supervisor was always really helpful and supportive but I don't feel like I have that relationship with my current supervisor. To be honest, I actively try and avoid them because I'm scared of disappointing them and they really stress me out with their expectations (emails in the middle of the night, expecting a huge workload finished in unrealistic timeframes). I'm getting my protocols from the internet and just "having a go" at changing things to suit my needs but so far I've just ended up wasting time and money spent on consumables.
I started my PhD with the intention of staying in academia and teaching. But the more I experience academia the less I want to be here. My supervisor expects a 60h working week and there's a silent competition of who can stay in the lab the longest which I really don't enjoy. I've noticed a strong correlation between success and stress with no work-life balance, which really isn't how I pictured academia to be (how naive of me...). This mindset has really made me lose motivation, and the thought of having to go back in the lab to continue trying to make something work with no guidance on where I'm going wrong is making me feel unwell.
What's adding to my feelings is the pandemic. I'm a funded student but because of the disruption the pandemic has caused I've been told I may have to extend my PhD by 6 months, without any extension in my funding! This is something I really cannot afford to do, and it's always at the back of my mind that I will get to my final year and have to quit anyway because of my finances.
I also don't like the city I'm living in very much. I was living with my partner in another city and moved 100 miles away for this PhD. This is really difficult on our relationship - especially with travel restrictions from the pandemic.
Everyone acts shocked when I tell them I'm thinking of leaving and tries to reason with me to stay but I'm just tired of being here. Academia is no longer something I want to pursue. However, I'm really worried that I will regret it if I do leave. I worked so hard to get here and I feel like I'm doing an injustice to myself by leaving.
Everyone I've spoken to about this doesn't do a PhD, and I feel like it's hard to understand these feelings unless you're doing/have done one! If anyone has any guidance or can describe some of their own experiences, that would be really helpful.
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