Kellykel, I actually have a rather similar experience to yours. You have to be able to look beyond the feeling of inadequacy, and to continue working on publications while you can, and as for finding work, yes, if you need to do something which requires you to hide your qualifications or downplay your degrees' existence, you might have to do that. But remember, do not sell yourself short too much because there will be a bottom which you can never hit. What I mean is, when you do not install a baseline about what you can do and won't, then it will in fact mean you can be played around with till you become the lowest of the low in terms of social denominator. With a PhD, you can still teach, even if it is not in a university, and that might stave off the anxiety about not finding your ideal job until you get to it. I have not had much luck like you in terms of finding a job here in Southeast Asia, where people look upon my PhD with a large degree of either dislike or prejudice, thinking that all we do is just to regurgitate the notes and to score the points. But still, as difficult as it is, I remind myself that I worked hard for it. No one should be given that right to deride you for that, whether or not you really find your ideal job.

Nearing the point of completion of my PhD, I actually hated that I made that choice. It was because I focused on the negatives in outlook at that point, such as the job market, the economy, the need to make ends meet, and how others would view me. But now that I finished it, I am getting back a lot of the interest which spurred me onto doing it in the first place and finishing it. I spent 4 years or so of my life doing something which I was interested in, made the best out of it by travelling around in conferences, testing ideas (whether good or bad), and got to see another side of me which I never thought I could have or would have if I had stayed in my comfort zone and chosen to opt for working life outside academia. Something a counsellor used to tell me was this about life: when we have bad things coming our way, some of these are not necessarily meant to be evil things, but challenges for us to test our capabilities for changing them into our opportunity to shine. I now understand what she means. It does not mean life gets easier for me because I am now graduated with a PhD and have to deal with strange and negative opinions from people who do not understand the need for graduate studies. But look at it this way. Not many people have even the capacity to get into graduate school, and the dropout rates for PhDs in North America and a lot of other countries is possibly more than 50% at least(it's 50% in Canada where I did mine, as I heard), so instead of seeing a PhD as something "irrelevant" to the working world the way some people outside of it choose to see it, why not see it as a means of proving in fact that you are the cream of the crop and among the most intelligent in society?

Hi Florence, I know that you are despairing, and saying that you are to take it easy will not be so helpful. What I recommend is that you talk immediately with someone or a counsellor who can advise you on how to better manage your emotions. When you are more emotionall able to handle those unstable feelings, you will produce work. Please don't let your self-worth be affected by whether or not you finish on time. Think of it more as a journey instead in which you are working towards the final prize of the degree, and the process is about as important as the end. Whether you finish a PhD happily or whether you finish it and get to the endpoint unhappily is actually very important. Don't be consumed in the thoughts about how good or bad you are, and instead remember, you chose that degree to make yourself a better person in what you want to do. Start from that, and remember that you will get there no matter how long or how hard it takes.

Firstly, Eimeo, Congratulations on passing! I had a somewhat similar experience to yours in that I was passed but the deliberation produced the outcome that I must revise my thesis substantially and it would take more than 2 weeks to do so (from a month to 6 months or so). I can understand that feeling of being lost, especially after the defence or viva, that does not just mean that you are to be successfully conferred the PhD after the final submission of a revised thesis, but that you do not know too if you want to be an academic or how the academic job market in your field of study will turn out. I was immensely stressed for about 3 months or so from the end of November till the end of January when everything was finally approved, and even contemplated leaving academia. But you know, this could also be a form of performance anxiety or burnout, and you should watch out for it. Don't sweat too much over it! Remember, it is good that you passed, whatever the amount of revisions. I had the external telling me that he doubted the thesis is suited to being changed into a book, owing to the direction of the various chapters, but he did say that there was definitely material for a few journal articles of peer-reviewed status, and so it was not even that bad in retrospect although his written remarks were not good to begin with.
That could constitute a form of setback in a way, but there even peers and juniors who heard from me about it said that you can never please everyone in academia; in fact, your work will experience its fair share of supporters, detractors, critics and even haters. So all in all, pat yourself on the back, tell yourself, "I did my best and the rest is not within my control", and then move onto finishing the revisions and the final submission. You will have another set of concerns to be thinking (and probably worried about too) when you finally graduate, but you will have time and space to do that later on too.

I had a similar experience to yours in that when I went through my PhD defence then a few months back, the external examiner did not like my thesis one bit, and all his remarks were basically peripheral. Even my advisor said that the remarks on the written report were unfair, although he did not seem to show that antagonism in the oral defence. I did pass, but on the copy which has to be edited and revised for supervisor's approval which he passed to me, he 'bled' the whole thing to death, and even on a separate sheet of comments spanning a length of 4 pages, filled up to the max, he disagreed or commented with nearly everything I said and wanted something to be done. Within a stressful 1 month, my advisor told me to take his remarks with discretion since she is the ultimate one approving the thesis for final submission to the division of grad studies for final convocation. I empathize with your situation especially because I can see how politics and bad or biased examiners can affect the outcome. Have you talked to your advisor about the possibility of a change in anyone among the committee and the examiners? Are there such policies in place? Also, can you appeal the ruling on your thesis to the faculty of graduate studies/research in your university, or the Dean accordingly?