I'm having a little conflict lately.

Why do we need to study all the things that we studied during undergraduate?

I found out that the lessons are not much used while working. When working we still need to study new things and sometimes only 5% of what we study during undergrad is used to do our work. Even in research, only small part of undergraduate lesson is used to carry out our research. So why spend so much time (4 years at least) and energy to study what we learn during ungrad? And the subjects were so difficult. Why does the lecturers need to teach all those lesson?
Isn't it a waste of time?

What do you think?

Definitely no. You should not tell her as this will affect her self esteem. Having high self esteem is important in completing a PhD and I know how it feels like when you get to know that your supervisor looks down on you. So, don't tell her. What other people say about her doesn't have to be her reality!

You should forget about this too Marasp. Don't keep the negative energy in you. It'll drain you.

I'm am 32 years old too this year and will be 33 when I graduate (if I ever graduate) and start my academic career. Its my decision to choose this path and who cares about what other people say? It's my life.

Hello

As an international student I understand the difficulties of studying abroad- the depression, overwhelmed, self-doubt, loneliness (if you come alone to the country), new environment, different climate, eagerness to finish and return (if you are like me), homesick etc. In my case, I don't even know how to speak and read the local language. I can only recognize few alphabets and understand some basic words. I can't blame anyone else for this, I should have worked harder to learn.
In my personal opinion, do not quit. You have reached 3rd year, which an achievement in itself. Maybe there is only a little more work left to be done. Besides, we have travelled so far to get PhD, if possible, of course we don't want to return home with empty hands. If you look at my previous post one month ago, I was also considering quitting and my motivation level was zero. May be you are feeling burnt out right now. Don't think too much for the time being-try to get some rest, go for a holiday for a few days, leave your house, leave all your works behind and hopefully you'll return fresh and gain a new perspective.
Regarding not understanding many of the work you read, have you tried to email the authors for clarification? How about asking your supervisors, other lecturers, postgraduate students, other students in the lab or your friends, even those in your home country? Sometimes, when we ask or discuss about the problem with others and even if they can't answer, it will simulate our brain into thinking about the solution. When you say you are in the English program, do you mean your research area is in English or does it mean that your research area is not English but your study is conducted in English? (Sorry my native language is not English). In my case, I am in engineering. I always don't understand what I read too. In some cases, more explanation can be found in the other or older version of that paper, and in other papers which referred that particular paper. Sometimes I just try to start deriving my own equations based on my understanding and while in the process then only I understand what the authors are trying to say, why some terms are necessary etc. I also find that posting questions in the subject's forums helps too.
In my case, counseling helps a lot with my depression and anxiety. Perhaps you can benefit from the service in your university too.

You still have time, this is not the end yet, you will be able to make it!
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk and rant over.

Thanks Lughna, Pjlu, Platypus and Potatoes...

Hi Potatoes...

Thanks for asking.
After coming back from the holiday, my mind is much clearer than before. I went to meet few people and I decided to fight and stick with my PhD until the end. I am dropping the method A & B, currently trying on method C. I still get so anxious occasionally and the quitting feeling comes often, but I've made up my mind not to give up unless if I really fail after the thesis submission or viva.

The people that I met were:
1. A lecturer in my department- He told me that PhD is a real world research. Facing dead end/ not working methods is common in research. Sometimes it is difficult to abandon previous method and try a new one, but sometimes it is better to do so. He told me to give one last try on my previous method and if it is not working, try the new one. He also told me about his own experience when he was a student, he couldn't solve a problem for 3 months and he was also so worried- like me, so he said he understand my feeling. One night, the he dreamt of solution and implemented it on the next morning and it worked! He might had been lucky to have that dream but it wouldn't come without that 3 months of hard work. From his story I concluded that, my previous works are actually not useless although they seemed to be so, what I am facing is normal- perhaps I am not as stupid as I thought and I still have some hope to be successful in academic because looking at him now- a professor, has his own lab and produce several PhD graduates, I never thought he also had almost similar experience when he was a student. It was great that I met him, I never had this kind of conversation with my supervisor.
2. Another lecturer in my department- The lecturer was the most senior lecturer in my department. Seniority is taken seriously (senior lecturer is highly respected by everyone) in my university. He offered to talk to my supervisor to discuss about how to help me to graduate since I did not get much support from my supervisor, but I told him I'll try to work with my supervisor for these few months- try to meet him more frequently and involve him more in my research, but if he still ignore me, then only I'll ask this senior lecturer to talk to him.
3. My counselor- She helps me a lot in reducing my stress. I'm meeting her every week since and I am able to tell all my worries without being afraid to be judged or say anything wrong. I guess I actually need more support that I think. 

I am now half done with deriving the mathematical equations using method C. I choose method C because it is much simpler than method A and B, but I believe it can be modified a little to solve my problem. I've change my problem statement a bit and add some assumptions to make it work. I am hoping to test all these on the computer starting from next week. At least this is one step further compared to when I was using method A which was a dead end. I don't know whether will I be successful or have enough time to finish but I am trying to keep my stress low so that I won't be paralyze again. Each day when I wake up I tell myself to 'just try to do what I can do for the day' instead of saying 'I should achieve this and that by the end of today' as before- it had made me not wanting to get up even more. I also try to enjoy my free/ rest time by not thinking about studies at all, otherwise I will be tired even before I really sit down to study. It is better not to waste my energy. I am also getting the book 'The How of Happiness' which was recommended by my counselor. Hopefully it will help a little in going through this difficult period. My counsellor also told me to just imagine that I will be successful although I don't know that might be possible. I hope things will be ok in the end although for sure there will be occasional rough patches ahead. Or I might post another rant thread in this forum LOL.

Hopefully everything will be fine.

Congratulations 5DMk2!!!

Thanks... you really inspire me.

Hi Powerin10

You situation is almost similar as mine. I'm in my final year, should submit my thesis in 4 more months, feel like I haven't done anything at all and still have a lot to do. Sometimes I feel that I won't finish this PhD. I had a nervous breakdown few weeks ago, things have not been so good since but at least I feel a little better now.

I truly understand the "don't care anymore" feeling. First of all, focus on feeling better to regain the perspective. Meet the counselors, take some break, go for a holiday- leave all your work and you'll return fresh. Secondly, ask for help. Does you supervisor help much? Or are there any other lecturers or post graduate in your lab/ department? Or if you are same as me- not so helpful supervisor/ no one to discuss with in the lab/ dept, maybe you can join forums asking a particular topics e.g. C++ forum etc. Talk about you research to anyone- your supervisor, labmates, friends etc (but be careful not to expose too much). Although they may not give any useful input, you'll organize your thoughts when you are trying to make them understand about your research. Sometimes it even feel less stress after talking to them. Thirdly, just try to gather whatever you have got and write papers from it, then send the papers to conferences and journals. At least you can get some replies or feedback on how to improve or go on from the reviewers. Or it is even better if the papers are accepted.

If the problem really couldn't be solve as you initially expected, is there any way that you can work around it? Or change something?

Of course you have been through lots of ups and downs, but remember all the times when you had overcame the problems that you thought were impossible before. You had been successful many times and it is not impossible that you'll be successful again this time. (gift) Just try to keep going until the end.
Hopefully I'll be successful too...

Hi 5DMk2

I'm happy to hear that things are getting well with you and you managed to come to the other side in the end. May I know, did you use other user name before? I tried to find your previous posts on you "seriously about to leave PhD" but couldn't. I am also at a very low point at the moment and very close to quitting. Perhaps your previous posts may inspire me a bit. Thanks.

I wish you'll pass you viva with flying colours:-)

Thanks Pjlu.

I find that it is very difficult to calm myself down, especially as I live alone. I become more nervous in the evening before going to sleep. When I am at home I keep on thinking what should I do next, what should I do next and then begin to cry hysterically.  Actually, I only have 5 months more to complete the work and write thesis as the other 4 months are for viva, correction and final examination- according to the rule in here. I'm leaving the city today, heading to mountainous area for few days. Hope I can clear my head and will be able to think clearly when I come home.

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My PhD is in engineering.

I don't put so much hope in him because most of the things that he told me to do waste a lot of my time and in the end they are not useful neither. That is one of the reasons why I had lost plenty of time. Besides, I really think the method won't work.

======= Date Modified 06 Jan 2012 11:20:21 =======
Thanks Marasp and Potatoes,

I have asked my supervisor, he needs some time to check what I am doing but I don't put so much hope on him. No replies from other authors and I presented on different topics in the previous conferences. Method B seem very complicated- I can't understand at all and I'm afraid the same thing will just repeat. I am thinking of changing my objective or direction but I no have any idea what to do and this means I have to start from zero again. I'm becoming paralyzed and my brain can't function with all these pressures.:-(

Hi

I am in my final year, science based phd, my scholarship is about to end in another 3 months and I have agreed to extend for another 6 months without scholarship. I have been working on the last part of my reserach and I have just discovered all the works that I have done 4 months back are useless and wasted as the method can't be applied to solve the problem that I want to solve. I really don't know what to do now. Only 5 months left before I have to submit my thesis and without this last part, all my works before this may be useless too as I can't prove anything. I am so scared. Supervisor is not supportive and does not give enough guidance since day 1. No post doc or any lab assistance or other phd student that I can talk with here. I have been plodding through my way all these years with very minimal guidance and help. I really don't know whether to just drop this method- I can't find any way to make it work anymore, or should I just change to another method- but I am afraid if even this another method will take a long time to understand and the same thing will repeat. I feel like a total loser and want to die.

Anyone has the same experience?
Any advice?

Thanks.