Signup date: 01 Mar 2007 at 11:09am
Last login: 26 May 2007 at 8:12am
Post count: 126
Have a look at the BBSRC and MRC research council websites - they would be a good source. I had BBSRC funding, but mine was allocated like this: the department was awarded 2 studentships, i had been accepted by my supervisor (given that i could get the money) and so I went for the interview for the studentship held by the department, and fortunately, got the studentship. Some PhD proposals will already have money from the BBSRC or MRC attached, I think those will probably be listed on the website. Alternatively, contact some potential supervisors because they might already have money allocated to a project.
Fluffy - well, I think about 4 weeks off. The thing is, absolutely no-one has seen a single thing that I have done, and not for a lack of trying on my part! I've tried ex-postdocs, but no luck there either, I think they are all glad to be shot of her and don't want anything else to do with the lab, including me. It is an underestimate to say the lab wasn't a friendly environment!
cc - " I was worried and asking for help, I thought in confidence."
Exactly. All this has blown up in my face and all i wanted was someone to help me.
I think this is testimant to my lab. In the last year, all of the postdocs have left (8 in total), all of them on bad terms with my supervisor. She has 2 new postdocs now who come from completely different and totally unrelated fields - the reason? Everyone in my field knows what she is like and she can't get anyone to work for her.
I've been seeing my Uni counsellor since I started my PhD...she has been absolutely fab, listens to me cry etc, suggests things that I can do, (like u lovely people have), but again, every avenue I try comes up with nothing.
I didn't want her to know about me being bipolar. But we had to sign a disability declaration, and because I would need time off to have counselling, see doctors etc, I said that I did. MY undergrad supervisor also mentioned it in my letter of reference, but in an altogether different light - that it was incredible to believe that I had these problems because my scientific work was so good etc etc.
As for quitting, I have come close so many times. But now I've done all my bench work and I'm writing my thesis and I'm so very close to finishing. I just feel so let down after I found someone who I actually thought was going to help me.
Thanks for all your replies, it means a lot to have support from people here.
As for student rep...well, thats me! I have raised issues (and not actually said it was me) about how people who have troubles with their supervisor find it very hard to get any help. It was "noted" at the committe meeting but nothing ever done.
As for my funding body, yep, tried them as well after I found out that she was denying receiving money for me to attend a conference ( she had of course, but denied she knew anything about it, despite me going to her with the terms of my studentship, then going to the accounts department who got in touch with the head of the Intitute...still nothing was done, they accepted my supervisors reasoning that she simply didn't know. I missed the conference deadline and then she said the money had been spent elsewhere for me...i asked on what...she said "scientific supplies"...i asked such as...? I got yelled at.
woo hoo, i thought, finally someone to help me. so i hand in my chapters to him and eagerly await an email.
in the meantime, my supervisor calls me in, furious with me. and she screams and yells, calls me a liar, says i have made everything up to discredit her, says she has done nothing but be good to me - more so because i am "mentally disturbed" etc etc etc
(yes, i am bipolar. i take medication and it has NEVER affected my work)
i sit there, stunned.
today i meet with the head of the degree committe.
and guess what?
he hasn't read my work.
everyone knows he has no respect for my supervisor. hate is not too strong a word.
and it suddenly dawned on me that he isn't interested in helping me at all. all he wants to do is get at her and he is using me as a pawn to do that.
i feel like there is no one i can trust, no one who wants to help me. and i don't know what to do. can i really achieve a phd without help from anyone?
If anyone who has seen my posts before, they'll know I have had a really hard time with my supervisor, who has done nothing at all to support me in any way shape or form.
I went to my advisor, she shrugged, said 'oh you know what X is like! We all know' and that was the extent of the help from her.
i went to my college advisor (i'm at one of the uni's with the college system), he was very sympathetic, made me a cup of tea and told me to maybe take up a sport...erm, again, no help whatsoever.
I went to my head of Institute, again sympathetic, with same 'u know what she is like' attitude, said it would be best not to do anything because the Institute that i work for is small and it would be best not to rock the boat.
I went to the head of my degree committe, and woo hoo, i thought, he seemed to care. In fact, my supervisor, it turns out, was already being subjected to an internal investigation for fraud (money and data). I'm trying to write up, he said he would read my chapters.
I can't imagine that anyone would be able to sustain the levels of hard work and dedication to complete a PhD if driven only by the motivation of saying, ha ha, look at me!
I don't think there is anything wrong in being proud of your own achievements, and if they have come in spite of negativity from others, then again, why not be pleased?
As for the comparison that was drawn to being called 'Lord', surely the point is that you can be born into a title like that, but to gain the title of Dr (or PhD for sake of argument), it requires a helluva lot of hard work and isn't something that can be inherited.
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