From my supervisor:

"I would like to comment on the fact that you said to T (whom I met yesterday) that I "agreed" on the fact that you left yesterday. Of course no, I disagree because you left before your delivered the overdue manuscript. Unfortunately I have been used to your behaviour over the past 4 years so I wasn't suprised.
I would have hoped that over the past 4 years you would have learned to abide by the rules but we both know that you can't... "C'est la vie" ...."

Our history is here:
http://www.postgraduateforum.com/threadViewer.aspx?TID=18607

Thank you so much for your replies.

I think my friends here in France are sick of hearing me whining and just say "get on with it, you can do it etc." There have been so many students who started after me finish and people in the department are constantly asking me when I'll finish. I have absolutely no confidence in myself and in my work. I just received a revised chapter from my supervisor that is COVERED in writing and saying things like "I would've expected you to do this better", "you should have done this" - it doesn't help to have these comments in the 13th hour. He should have said what was expected 3 years ago.

The thing is that I made an excellent digital model which showed so much detail in one area, he said I would have expected a better detailed model of the whole region (I spent 2 years making it). The reason there is so much detail in the one area is because I spent 4 months GPSing it! The rest of the region I had to use whatever publically available data which is of lower resolution. He did buy some data but I told him he wouldn't work before he got it because it wasn't a good pair (you need two satellite images). He then said in the corrections, why didn't you use the data I bought.

After reading the corrections I burst into tears, went home and watched a movie and drank wine. It just seems that every time I give him something that it comes back covered in pen with a HUGE number of corrections... yet he keeps asking me where all my chapters are. I spent ages working on chapters because I have no confidence in what I am doing! And then when I think it is good enough it comes back with "this is wrong" "why did you do this" "you should have done this". I also have to write a report for the people who gave me money and he constantly reminds me of this, threatening legal action on their part against me because I've broken the contract... but how am I supposed to do this too? I can't do ten million things at once. And then he sent me an email on Thursday asking for a copy of report that has nothing to do with my PhD, I didn't send it, he then emailed again on Friday. I replied to search on google because I didn't have it.

What really gets to me is that he constantly puts down my work, and is giving away my subject to other students to do! He has also taken my draft article, added to it and put me as the 3rd author! He gave away my digital model to another student for him to do some modelling on, the exact same modelling I've done in my PhD!! And when I tell the head of the PhD students, my supervisor just weasels his way out and I get told just to get on with my work. GRRRR!!

The other thing I'm worried about is I've been in contact with the jury since March to say that I'd like them to be my examiners - the expected dates have changed so much because I've been delayed a lot. The supervisor has been in email contact with them since and he forwarded me the last email when the examiner wrote that the latest changes "are inconvenient, but so be it". Supervisor emailed examiner at 12pm and then re-emailed at 4pm when he hadn't heard from him! I'm scared that the jury will have a negative view of me before they even read the manuscript. I've got one person that I trust on the jury and who knows the background, but the others I don't know well. Two of them are very kind but I don't trust my supervisor - I'm scared he has been bad-mouthing me. Although I guess if I fail, its not good for him either.

Anyway, I'm leaving France on Thursday and I hope a change in environment will help me out. On a positive note, I had a job interview on Friday which went very very well :). There was no vacancy but they wanted to meet me after I contacted them. We spoke for 2 hours about the company, what opportunities they have coming up and about my work experience. I walked away feeling like it went really well. The guy was going to speak with

Thank you so much for your reply. My family does know whats going on, along with my boyfriend. But I don't think anyone realises the long-term psychological effects this PhD has had on me. My parents have been kind enough to say they'll support me financially for the next month so I can finish the PhD without getting work. I've not received any money since September and spent all my savings, and also reached the maximum emergency financial help from the university.

I think my friends here in France are sick of hearing me whining and just say "get on with it, you can do it etc." There have been so many students who started after me finish and people in the department are constantly asking me when I'll finish. You are right, my confidence has been undermined completely. I have absolutely no confidence in myself and in my work. I just received a revised chapter from my supervisor that is COVERED in writing and saying things like "I would've expected you to do this better", "you should have done this" - it doesn't help to have these comments in the 13th hour. He should have said what was expected 3 years ago.

The thing is that I made an excellent digital model which showed so much detail in one area, he said I would have expected a better detailed model of the whole region (I spent 2 years making it). The reason there is so much detail in the one area is because I spent 4 months GPSing it! The rest of the region I had to use whatever publically available data which is of lower resolution. He did buy some data but I told him he wouldn't work before he got it because it wasn't a good pair (you need two satellite images). He then said in the corrections, why didn't you use the data I bought.

After reading the corrections I burst into tears, went home and watched a movie and drank wine. It just seems that every time I give him something that it comes back covered in pen with a HUGE number of corrections... yet he keeps asking me where all my chapters are. I spent ages working on chapters because I have no confidence in what I am doing! And then when I think it is good enough it comes back with "this is wrong" "why did you do this" "you should have done this". I also have to write a report for the people who gave me money and he constantly reminds me of this, threatening legal action on their part against me because I've broken the contract... but how am I supposed to do this too? I can't do ten million things at once. And then he sent me an email on Thursday asking for a copy of report that has nothing to do with my PhD, I didn't send it, he then emailed again on Friday. I replied to search on google because I didn't have it.

What really gets to me is that he constantly puts down my work, and is giving away my subject to other students to do! He has also taken my draft article, added to it and put me as the 3rd author! He gave away my digital model to another student for him to do some modelling on, the exact same modelling I've done in my PhD!! And when I tell the head of the PhD students, my supervisor just weasels his way out and I get told just to get on with my work. GRRRR!!

Anyway, I'm leaving France on Thursday and I hope a change in environment will help me out.

I spoke to the secretary of our department today after she asked if I was ok - apparently I looked sick. When I explained what had been happening she was shocked. She said that the supervisor often spoke about how useless the other PhD student was and also that the postdoc he had (who left after 6 months) was a trouble maker. She said that there were a number of official reports being gathered at the moment against our laboratory as a whole because there was a real bullying culture here. She said that she'd had a lot of problems herself with other staff members and gave me numbers of people at the university to put a report in to.

I've booked my flight and I'll be leaving next week for my new life in the UK. I'll try and get as much done as possible and hopefully finish my PhD in a couple of weeks. I do need to get it done I think but I'm just too fragile right at the moment to finish everything before I leave. I have a wonderful support system in the UK and I think this will make the world of difference. I just want this chapter of my life to end so I can move on.

Thank you once again and best of luck with your studies!

Thank you all for your lovely and helpful comments. I've got enough data (I think) and written 5 out of the 7 chapters but I'm struggling with the final chapter - bringing together the hazards and vulnerability data into a risk format and then writing the conclusions. My supervisor arranged with the jury for the defense to take place the 15th September (we submit our manuscript between 1.5-2 months before the defense). But now he is saying that I wont be finished in time, that he will have to change the date with the jury, again etc. He has changed the date with them so many times because my manuscript is not good enough in his eyes. I got from the last email correspondence that the jury was well and truly fed up with all the changes. Other PhD students have had their defense date arranged many months before and work to that, submitting their finished (but not perfect) manuscript even 1 month before the defense (which is frowned upon by the university but it happens). My date has been pushed so many times that I then continue writing to make things better.

The constant doubting of my supervisor has a really bad affect on me. I try not to let him get to me but he does. He spoke with me on Wednesday saying I wont be finished. I was doing so well too and as a consequence of this meeting I spent the next 4 days either in bed or at my computer staring into space! The manner in which he speaks to me is really condescending which really impacts on my already low self-esteem after 4 years of telling me how useless I am. I made a really great digital elevation model which is so much more detailed that previous models (and it is so easy to recognise this from the manuscript figures), yet he said it was not any better than the one they'd used in previous studies. It took me 2 years to make this model after 4 months of fieldwork and so many problems processing the data because he had no idea how to do it and there wasn't anyone in my laboratory who could guide me. I re-processed my data numerous times just to get a model that looks ok... its just all these little comments which have made me doubt myself. Then I feel guilty because no one appears to support me, so perhaps its my fault. My doctor recommended I see a counsellor once I'm in an english speaking country to get the past 4 years off my chest.

A few notes:

A PhD in France is 3 years - I've been here 4 and have not been paid for over 9 months.

My supervisor steals my work and uses it for his publications. He actually gave away a big piece of my research to another student.

I've spoken to the heads of my lab about it, they are aware of the problem, acknowledge it and just say hang in there. They wouldn't let me change supervisors.

I used to be an A grade/distinction student

I end up doing all his paper reviews because I have trouble saying no

He has called the embassy in NZ to check if I was actually in the country and told my colleagues that when I was away on sick leave that I was travelling all around Europe

There is another PhD student in the same situation and she'll probably be at 5 years when she is finally finished. A postdoc student quit after 6 months because of his harassment and incompetence. The university took his side and did nothing to help her.

Every meeting with him sets me back. I lost all self esteem and wonder why this is worth it if I have no support from anyone. I don't even have anyone else in my lab doing something similar, when I suggested collaborations he said no. He doesn't have a clue about the research and so it has been overly unrealistic and I'm constantly told how slow I am.

He made me believe when I first arrived that fieldwork expenses should come out of my salary and this was normal in France. When I got better friends in the department they said that this was not normal at all and the supervisor should pay for fieldwork expenses. Of course I didn't keep receipts, I struggled for 2 years to get something like €3000 back, and again the heads of the department didn't want to hear of it.

The doctor told me that there have been complaints filed against him through the medical staff at the university for the last 10 years.

I JUST HATE IT and I have no idea why I've stayed so long!!

I'm a New Zealander who currently lives and studies in France. I've been living here for almost 4 years and my time in France has been a giant struggle! I'm doing a PhD and it has not been wonderful. I've spent many months in tears and many more months wondering what the hell I'm doing here. I've seen people for my mental health and spent 3 months during the summer of 2009 on medical leave.

I've been harassed at the university by my supervisor, so much so, that I've questioned my intelligence and been made to feel so small, stupid and that I don't count. I've had things said about me to colleagues working in the same field and I've almost given up on my field of study because of this PhD. I'm filled with anxiety, dread, and I hide in the hallways trying to avoid my supervisor. I've been made to feel so stupid, incompetent, inferior, worthless... And I know its not all his fault. Once the problems arose I probably reacted badly to him. But I'd never been called stupid before, never had I had someone correct my work and write "this is terrible! are you stupid? this is work a child could do?!" "Why don't you work harder? Why do you cry a lot? You can't visit your family in NZ! You must work all summer. I haven't seen you in the lab today, are you here? are you working?" I guess I was always encouraged and when something was wrong they usually said "well, this isn't correct, but have you tried this? or looked at this paper?" Not "NO?!!" The negative comments, attitude etc. just made me feel worse and less interested in doing my work.

I feel like I don't have anyone I can trust in a position of power at uni. Everyone knows what the supervisor is like, yet I've been in this situation for 4 years. I have a terrible PhD because I've had to work out everything myself. I've spent too much time trying to figure out how to do stuff because my supervisor doesn't know how to do anything himself... yet I'm made to look like the useless student who is late and doesn't do any work.

I'm supposed to finish within the next month but I don't feel that I have it in me. I'm just lost and don't know what to do any more.

======= Date Modified 19 Jun 2011 22:16:31 =======
Sorry I've posted this in the wrong place!!


I'm a New Zealander who currently lives and studies in France. I've been living here for almost 4 years and my time in France has been a giant struggle! I'm doing a PhD and it has not been wonderful. I've spent many months in tears and many more months wondering what the hell I'm doing here. I've seen people for my mental health and spent 3 months during the summer of 2009 on medical leave.

I've been harassed at the university by my supervisor, so much so, that I've questioned my intelligence and been made to feel so small, stupid and that I don't count. I've had things said about me to colleagues working in the same field and I've almost given up on my field of study because of this PhD. I'm filled with anxiety, dread, and I hide in the hallways trying to avoid my supervisor. I've been made to feel so stupid, incompetent, inferior, worthless... And I know its not all his fault. Once the problems arose I probably reacted badly to him. But I'd never been called stupid before, never had I had someone correct my work and write "this is terrible! are you stupid? this is work a child could do?!" "Why don't you work harder? Why do you cry a lot? You can't visit your family in NZ! You must work all summer. I haven't seen you in the lab today, are you here? are you working?" I guess I was always encouraged and when something was wrong they usually said "well, this isn't correct, but have you tried this? or looked at this paper?" Not "NO?!!" The negative comments, attitude etc. just made me feel worse and less interested in doing my work.

I feel like I don't have anyone I can trust in a position of power at uni. Everyone knows what the supervisor is like, yet I've been in this situation for 4 years. I have a terrible PhD because I've had to work out everything myself. I've spent too much time trying to figure out how to do stuff because my supervisor doesn't know how to do anything himself... yet I'm made to look like the useless student who is late and doesn't do any work.

I'm supposed to finish within the next month but I don't feel that I have it in me. I'm just lost and don't know what to do any more.