Hello Everyone,

I hope you're all doing fine. I posted this abt a year ago:

I was told to pack my bags on 30th April 2013 after staying awake for more than 30hrs trying to finish a piece of work. 30th April is nigh & I'm terrified & dreading the day as it was one of the worst days of my life, & undoubtedly the worst day in my professional life.

In the past year the following has happened:
1) my uni decided that what happened with me was 100% unjust so I don't owe them any money.
2) both my research papers on coal combustion were published in Energy & Fuels.
3) I went before the research board at my uni & showed them all my extensive work on coal combustion. They allowed me to submit here for a phd.
4) I've been teaching chem engg students & taking practicals just as I was pre-phd & have kept myself busy & have been getting a regular salary. Teaching has definitely been much easier & a blast as I often use my phd work experiences, i.e. my lab-scale & pilot-scale experimental work in the field of coal combustion to my advantage so as to make my classes on reaction engineering, fluid dynamics, process heat transfer & particulates technology much more informative than before.

My close colleagues call me a doctor without a degree LOL I'm not depressed anymore. I've gotten back into pro table tennis & my tropical fish hobby.

However, & I hope I'm not sounding ungrateful, I can never forget what they did to both me & my family. I'd appreciate some support from you kind people just so I can get through this week & the coming 30th April. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this. Maybe I can help out others who have suffered the same type of experience.

Hey satchi cheers for ur reply. Also, I'm curious. By satchi du mean "truthful" in urdu ? :P I will reply tu later. Right now gng to work. And wweasydoesit86: man that is obviously the first thing I wouldve done had this happened in my first yr or towards the end of the 1st yr. But they screwed me over midway through my 3rd yr ! That's what I've been trying to say here. I have results, I've got 2 experimental research papers. I was NEVER rude to anyone, nor did I do anything even remotely criminal. I will never know why they did what they did. I mean sure the reasons they gave me were procedure: attendance issues & lack of progress & then the fking PG tutor rubbed it in further saying my work wasnt of top quality. Tell that to the world class experts who accepted my papers on coal combustion.They needed to get rid of me so they did, simple as that !

Bottom line: I have no more money left & shame on me if I continue my phd in that university !

I don't have access to my uni emails anymore as they restricted access right after the withdrawal meeting. Also (and I expected this), they had altered some of the emails from that fiend of a prof. He had never sent me a single nice email. They allowed access to my emails during the appeals process but I didn't require them as I couldn't mention the important things e.g. how I'd been treated & all the people who took part in stabbing me. So I went through some emails from that prof & you wouldn't believe: THEY HAD BEEN ALTERED ! Now u might think maybe I overlooked some details etc. But, I have a VERY good memory & I've always paid VERY close attention to detail. I would read those emails a lot whenever that prof would make me feel like sh*t just to see where (during my phd) he started making me feel like a failure so I'd know if anything had been altered. That prof had NEVER been helpful in any way let alone motivating me. These emails seemed to have magically sprouted STRONG words of motivation. As soon as I read those emails I knew appealing at that uni was a wild goose chase. If they could alter emails & keep a 6inch thick file on me then no matter what I did or said or what evidence I gave, everything would be used against me & they'd NEVER let me back. And that's exactly what happened.

Thank you Ian. I'm so glad I registered on this forum. Seriously. I would've gone insane with guilt & depression & self pity. Your words & advice have meant a lot as, obviously, one feels that they're alone in a particular situation. I wish I could name the university. I'd love to both for personal reasons & so that other people don't end up the same way as I did with a permanent scar in their lives & careers.

I already appealed but that was turned down too. It was as if NO ONE was on my side, as if I'd committed some sort of heinous crime. In all honestly, I felt that they treated me like a criminal, from the meetings with the PG tutor to the THICK file that "professor" had on me. Till this day I can't believe that, that is how they treat their students. I am still shocked ! In the appeal, my sup did NOT talk abt all the work I'd done nor my 2 research papers. Basically, all these people turned out to be selfish only looking out for themselves in every way.

I have not appealed on a university level. I really don't care now to be honest. This entire ordeal including the phd itself (with these people) affected me mentally & I'd rather not have ANY correspondence with them ever again. I don't ever want to see their faces or hear their voices cuz I got so tired of their bullsh*t ! However, everyday I rehearse what I'll say to them when my wife's done with her phd & has her degree in her hand. And then I think, God will judge them.

Ur info was very helpful but I want to move on now. FYI I don't have anything to hide. It's just that I want to move on. I didnt keep any notes on them bcoz I'd never have imagined that they treated their students like criminals !

Hey weasy cheers for ur input. Thanks tu I finally knw what to do.

Dear All,

I'm sick of feeling unhappy. I'm sick of being angry all the time. I've been unhappy for the past 2 yrs. But sh*t happens so I want my life back on track.

I've no idea where to begin... It seems like climbing a mountain now as I've lost all my confidence to even search efficiently as I never thought I'd b in the same position.

My expertise is in coal combustion. I'm a chemical engineer by profession. For 2.5yrs of my phd till I was made to withdraw, I had been running both lab scale & pilot scale experiments in coal combustion (oxygen enrichment, oxy fuel etc). I have written 2 research papers on coal reactivity & the effect on flue gas emissions using various techniques of coal combustion.

Lots of people have told me to go to Germany but I want to go to the US as I have family there. To be honest, I can only go where they offer me a GOOD scholarship & the topic is in energy as that was my field before. I can't spend anything on living costs & cannot spend any money on tuition fees in case I'm offered a partial scholarship as, quite frankly, I have no money left as I spent it on my disaster of a phd. And I owe my uni around £55k as they have asked me to pay them back the entire amount of the scholarship as I returned without a phd.

Bottom line: I'm doing this for my parents, so they can be proud of me & because I need to finish what I started. I don't want their hard-earned money to go to waste. I will never be happy nor will I ever have a sense of accomplishment again if I don't finish this !

Where do I apply ? Plz help.....

I'm angry all the time, angry with everyone who was a part of all this, angry at everything (my situation). I'm angry at myself as I can't face my parents. I'm ashamed that I let them down, thus I get angry. I then lash out.

I've lost everything. Rock bottom is a baby's crib as compared to where I am right now. I've lost all my self confidence, my confidence to teach which took a long time to build, I've lost my professional confidence... How do I get back from all this ? I'm so lost, so very lost & broken....

I would love nothing more than to sue these pieces of filth ! However, I've already lost all my money & I'm in great debt. Disappointed my parents, just let everyone down. I have neither the financial, physical nor mental strength for a lawsuit.

Also, I din't mention that all that depression & demotivation caused a rift in my relationship with both my wife & my son.

After some research it turned out that the PG tutor was a minion of the prof. And even in the final meeting where, in plain words, I was expelled the PG tutor din't have any words of his own. He just read the words that prof had written abt me. He had a file on me ! Can u believe it ?!?!? I was treated like a fking criminal so they could save their hides ! I implored them to reconsider but my prim sup just literally turned his face. This is the guy with whom just the previous evening, I had a 3hr long (approx.) meeting in his office discussing my experiments I was running those days, we discussed the results etc, samples etc. That goes to show u how deceptive & untrustworthy these people are ! After telling me to sod off, the PG tutor said I had 2 choices: a) I could withdraw myself b) wait for the uni to officially withdraw me. I was told I could appeal which of course I did expecting NOTHING in return. After all this, du think they wud let me back in ? But in the appeal there was SO MUCH I did not mention for fear of jeopardizing my wife's phd. I did NOT mention anything abt the way I was treated, nor the prof etc. I only mentioned I was depressed due to personal reasons. Sometimes I wish these heartless, money-grabbing, good for nothing poor excuses for teachers, hypocritical pieces of filth should burn in hell but then I realize I'm not a hateful person. But I'm human after all.

How do I feel happy again after this, seems like an impossibility.

Firstly, I want to say thank you to tt_dan, Iwalktall, wowzers & Pjlu for all ur advice & kind words.

1) I really did look at all the mistakes I made. I just wasnt able to work in the office, I don't knw why but I'd feel more comfy working from home. But I'd still try to work when I was at the office. I always felt more comfy working at home.
2) I was always VERY polite. That I am 100% certain of. I took A LOT of shit from everyone but I'd never answer back. I wasnt even on first name basis with my sups, I thought it disrespectful & always was formal (e.g. dr this & prof that etc).
3) I was late for a few meetings at times but hey, who isn't ? It was NEVER as if I was ALWAYS late. But that one prof ruined my record, more like utterly demolished my credibility. He had some problem with me from the start & the harder I pleaded with my primary sup to get him away from me, the more he'd become attached to me & the more damage he'd do. Bcoz of that prof, I started getting very depressed. But that's not to say that I din't have other problems e.g. financial, homesickness, but that prof made everything so very bad.
4) I was bullied into signing weekly progress documents which were partly true but were mostly abt my attendance. I'm not a morning person & that prof wanted me to be there at 9am. I'd come in late & leave late but on those forms all the time I had stayed after 5pm was not counted.
5) the meetings w the PG tutor were meant to b rehabilitation to get me back on track but that guy turned out to be the most unprofessional & rudest twat I've ever met in my life, & I've met some very indecent people ! Those meetings felt more like ridiculing & harassment sessions than rehabilitation.

My dept got into trouble last yr with the auditing team as the same prof who orchestrated the destruction of my phd did it to some other kid. Also, they did not tell anyone on the floor what happened to me bcoz due to me being withdrawn from my studies, my UK visa was cancelled & I was told to leave within 60 days. I left within a month. Din't wana stay there.

Instead those people have told all the other phd students especially the ones from my session that I went on holiday. They didn't wana scare the other students away or cause any trouble for themselves as they had unjustly expelled a student (me) who was just abt to start his write-up. My intro chapter was complete. I wouldve spent the next 2 months completing my experimental & literature review. So anyway, I feel that they know they messed up my career & feel guilty & so don't want anyone else to find out. I hope they get their comeuppance ESPECIALLY that professor. I hope, for other peoples' sake that something is done abt the facade that is gng on in that dept: the blatant disregard for international students' futures... Greedy vultures !

Hello. Yes I did appeal. I was expelled on the grounds of my attendance & my lack of progress. ALL bullsh*t ! They'd use the words tardiness & attendance VERY loosely. When has there ever been a set time for a phd student ? These people esp that prof treated this like a bloody primary school with attendance & recording what time the students came in. I'm in my early 30s, married with a kid. So if I have to take care of my kid & show up late then does that mean I'm not serious & shud b expelled ? I'm not a morning person therefore, I'd come in late & leave late but that prof wudnt have it. As my primary sup din't have the balls to stand up to him, that prof was left to do whatever the hell he wanted. Thrice, since the start of my PhD & on separate occasions I begged my primary sup to do sumthing as that prof was VERY negative, demotivating & demoralizing but nothing changed. And the funny thing is, when I was withdrawn from my phd, I was running pilot scale experiments & was on the verge of submitting my 1st paper for which I had performed so many experiments. I submitted my 2nd research paper during my appeal period. I spit on the student union people as all these people are together. Theyre the biggest hypocrites ever ! They say they will "help" students but when a situation actually arises then it doesnt matter bcoz u will never win an appeal. I felt more like a criminal when I approached the students union, more like criminal union ! I've appealed to my uni to take into account the huge injustice done with me but unfortunately, I have to pay back the entire scholarship. I don't knw where I will get that money from as I used all my savings & thousands of pounds from my parents for phd living costs. And I wasnt living lavishly, my family & I just had the bare essentials. Theyve destroyed both my career & my life !

I easily cudve sued them but I cudnt bcoz considering the kinda people they are, they mightve ruined the phd for my wife. Therefore, the non litigious route that I had to take. I appealed after I was withdrawn but my sup AGAIN did not support me. All he said was that they did all they cud to help me, which was of course bullsh*t ! He did not talk abt my experimental nor did he mention the 2 experimental research papers that I had submitted to both him & the head of dept (my co-sup). The meetings I had with the PG tutor were more like interrogations, I felt myself hanging on by a thread so many times. It was a horrible time ! I wudnt wish it on my worst enemy. I'm a very +ve person, always laughing, always looking at the good in people but these people, each & everyone of them, took turns in demeaning me in one way or another, making false accusations & stripping away the little self confidence I had left. It was that other prof (who was not on my sup team) who orchestrated the entire thing as the PG tutor was one of his minions. I feel so broken... My life is destroyed. I do not knw how I will teach again as I've lost the confidence to do so especially considering I was a very successful academic. On average there used to be 80 undergrad students in my classes but now I don't think I can face even 20.... I've been under "copious" amounts of stress since I started my PhD but especially since they started "interrogating" me for around 5 months. My wife is doing her phd. I hope she gets it. I think I'll have to re think everything & move to another place for a fresh start otherwise I will never be happy again. I wish I cud mention the name of that uni here & the dept so I cud warn people from gng there ! Theyre money grabbing pieces of filth, NOT professors !

I am an academic with an MSc in process engineering. Both my wife & I were awarded phd scholarships by our uni. We have a son who was only 1.5 yrs upon commencement. We are int'l students & were registered at a top UK uni. It wasn't easy at the beginning & were given a month (by our sups) to settle in. We were registered with the same sup group, in the same dept & on the same floor. We were given no living allowance & had to bear that on our own (we're not VERY affluent). It was very tough for both my wife & I (who is also an academic) to balance everything & then take care of our son. One of our phds had to suffer through no fault of our own. It was mine. I would take care of my son more than my wife as I had more experimental results than she did. The impression we got from our supervisors was that it was a sin to have any family related problems. My work was slow but steady & my attendance was very good (not excellent). One of the profs (who wasnt part of the sup team & wasnt even of the relevant field) had been put in charge of judging students. Anyway, he caused me A LOT of emotional stress & depression & I'd complain to my sup but nothing wud b done. They expelled me after 2.5 yrs whilst I was doing my experimental work & was in the process of submitting my first experimental paper. I returned to my country with my son. Have to face people here, my confidence shattered by those money grabbing heartless people. I submitted a 2nd paper too. Now I owe the entire £55k approx to my uni for having failed. I have to take medication now for depression. I'd have suicidal thoughts. My life has been destroyed by those people. I wish I could write in greater detail here. There are vital points Ive not been able to mention here due to lack of no. of words.