Mackem_beefy I think you have a point, I am really scared what will happen in the future of this Phd. (I havent reply on a long time) and I have talked to my wife since my last post.
She told me all that she was feeling and I understood everything that she expressed. We are trying to get to a middle ground here and we are still talking about it, but I feel that she is managing better......My family is the most importat thing to me but I have put so much effort in this phd now, that I will feel sad if I quit

Hello everyone, sorry to answer late, so little time these days. What awsoci says is true, somehow my goals have been more of a priorioty for a lot of other reasons, and in the past I know this was a going to be a problem, so we made with my wife trade-offs if she was happy with those at the time, but now she is not.
At the time, I have also made some sacrificies with her relating other aspects of our life. At the moment I am trying her to take some classes at an institute and trying to save money for her career.
Regarding what livealittle said, its a great idea, I would try to do what you suggest, I know phd is hard (i am already struggling with classes and economy and a lot of other stuff) but I know I have to find the balance, the problem is: my idea of balance is different that hers.

Hello Dr.Jeckyll your ideas are actually good, I am just started the phd so I dont know yet how intensive ig going to be, but I would try to implement your ideas, I hope everything workds, thanks everyone for their post.

Well, that solution didnt quite work during the masters, maybe I am not efficientt, but I had always to do stuff as home as welll related to thesis, etc. I would try my best definitely in the phd, although its seems difficult.
I think she is not entirely happy with postponing her career, we are in a plan to try to enrol her at university, although we are savings funds for that.
I am trying my best to make her feel conforted but ultimately in a day to day basis she is like boring and a little bitter....

Hello everyone, I am new to the forum and I am very happy to know that you are not alone if this phd stuff and I have learned a lot of stuff here.
Let me tell you a little about my situation. About 1.5 half year ago I started my masters and my baby was born, since then my wife had to postpone her career to focus on the baby and I had to focus on the Masters, we live on a different city from our parents and it was a rough time, but I manage to finish the masters and spent some time with my daughter and wife. After that we talked about myself doing a phd (i was offered a very good opprtunity with funding etc at a good university), she was reluctant at the moment, but I manage to convince her, so here I am just started the phd (2 months). We are having some issues relating the following:

-she did feel a litlle lonely on the masters (beacuse i was always studying) and she feels is going to be the same on the phd
- she misses home and she wants to get back
- she says that i am always on the computer (i am not a genius, so I need a lot of time studying to understand a subject)
- she says that i never spent time with and the baby

I will say that I am very honest and all of this is truth, so my question to you is: have you been in a smiliar situation?, how can I keep her happy and share more time with her and at the same time be a good phd student?, how did you cope with family and phd?

thank you all