Hi WanderingSage,

I know they offer discounted rates for students or presenters. Do you mean that you got a discounted rate, or did you additional funding as well by approaching the head of research? I definitely give it a try!

:)

Hi!

I'm hoping to go to an international conference next year - and am a self-funded phd (FT) student. I'm just wondering where ppl have applied for funding to attend/present at conferences? I have already approached my uni, and psyPAG (my PhD is in psychology). But this wouldn't be enough to enable me to go.

Any suggestions of where else I could look?

Thanks!

Paige

Wow TT that's great advice - and congrats for sticking with it - glad it paid off in the end.

Hi Paperdoll

Thanks for the great suggestions! I'd never thought about saying that I'm working overtime instead of phd - i do say i'm studying and it has little effect (they come over, call me, talk throughout etc) but if I state I'm working they do seem to give me space. genius! I'm definitely going to try that! Also, asking for cooking suggestions etc will go down a treat, I think my mum's starting to feel a little redundant in my life, so asking for something that she can help me with will probably do wonders for our relationship too.

:-)

That sounds fine :-)

I'm sure you'll look great!

Hi Pjlu,

Thanks for your reply, it was very helpful. My family have never worked or studied. All the women have been full time housewives and I'm the only member of my family to go to university. I am also the only member to have left the country to start a new life elsewhere which makes spending time with them difficult - the time to travel is expensive, long and tiring. But I do think you're right about the envying and distancing from them - just from some things that they have said recently. I'm studying feminism as part of my phd, so its in complete contrast to how they live their lives and their beliefs. I am going to keep my boundaries, and do what I can but not chase after them (they can be very emotionally manipulative). I feel like if they really cared, they'd want me to do well and support me. So I'm trying to think about that when I start to feel guilty.

Oh - and if you are going to pursue this I'd recommend starting by making a list of everything they did - dates, and factual descriptions - with copies if possible (eg. of emails stating that the supervisor couldn't speak to you etc.). And if it's still going on, keep a diary and record everything - dates and times you have spoken to people, their names, left messages etc. Eg. if you have evidence that you asked for feedback from supervisors over a long period of time and they didn't give you advice etc.

Hi anonphd,

Sorry that you've had such a hard time - and that the university has let you down repeatedly. I've only started my phd, so I don't know anything about appeal processes etc. But it might be that the university owns your 'intellectual property' but you'd need to check before you resubmitted somewhere else. But do you have any avenues of support in reporting a formal grievance against the department/staff member/university - as your supervisor not being able to talk to you and having an external supervisor not in the right area sounds like massive mistakes on their behalf - as well as your supervisor failing to provide adequate feedback prior to the assessment.

When I've been unfairly treated, and left on hanging, I've done something about it - contact a union, or somewhere, where you can find out your rights. Be professional, and reasonable, but assertive. Even if I haven't got what I wanted - I felt better for standing up for myself.

P x

Hi Claire!

I love going to conferences - because it gives me a chance to meet people with a similar interest, network, socialise and wear some great clothes! I don't stick to conservative 'smart wear' - because its good to stand out and be remembered (within reason!). I tend to go for something fashionable, but sophisticated. I do dress up a bit because its not just your research on show, but yourself as a researcher and academic. Be confident and be yourself.

And I've always had fun at the conference dinners, people tend to relax a bit more, so again wearing something a bit more casual is accepted. Bring a few things and then you can decide at the time what you feel comfortable with.

Thats the best advice I can give - based on conferences I've been too!

Thanks for the advice - its great to know people have been through the same thing. I study full time and work part time btw, that was my mistake in the previous post. It is a lot, but my family aren't a fan of my independence and I know they'd love nothing more than for me to move back home and be a full time wife & mother. I have only been studying for a few months, so hopefully if I stick to saying no to them, eventually they will understand. I am committed to whatever it takes to pass, and if they do continue to sabotage my efforts, I will distance myself further - not only for the phd but for my own wellbeing! It's not a nice decision to have to make, but sometimes thats how its got to be.

I am going to TRY (:-() to stop comparing myself to other (more experienced) people! And focus on what I have achieved...hopefully...

======= Date Modified 28 42 2009 21:42:20 =======
Hello,

I started my full time, self funded phd in september. I'm really enjoying it, my supervisors are supportive etc. My main issue/concern at the minute is unsupportive family members. My partner is supportive as he is studying too - we have no children so can dedicate a good deal of time to study. I also work part time.

But some family members and some friends just don't seem to appreciate how much time and effort my phd takes. I've noticed that the more time in to my phd, the more unreasonable their demands are getting, and its causing me stress (that I don't need).

I have talked to them repeatedly -trying to explain, and constantly say no to them, but it just seems to be getting worse. They have never worked or studied. I don't think they understand at all.

Any suggestions? anyone have a similar experience?

P

(snowman)