I started my part-time Ph.D six and half years ago when I thought I had some free time. I was very naive; deep inside now, I just wanted this degree to impress my ex-husband by then.
Requirements for part-time are the same as to full-time, so I went through all the coursework. I'm the only one who always ran into the classroom and sometimes brought work to the night class. Honestly, coursework is the easiest part of the Ph.D I miss those years. I passed everything and my proposal, but yes, years of pressure. Over those years, I got married, and we had constant fighting. I couldn't let myself relax for just one day, at any given moment, one of my marriages, career, and school, tortured me. My ex was an entrepreneur who expected me to be his source of "happiness." When he found that I really couldn't be his source of happiness, the marriage ended.
Lately, I feel my life paused; every day it's a cycle, work, at night, watching drama to escape from the real world = the waiting dissertation. It drained me down, I hate being someone like this. I hate that I have changed from someone full of ideas and taking action, to someone who finds ways to escape from reality.
I give myself 3 months from now on as a deadline, to finish the two topics, and submit a draft. Now more than that.
Stay tuned.
