Thank you so much for both your replies, I really appreciate your advice.
It's really reassuring to know you had a similar situation Candle and managed to get there in the end!

I do have a second supervisor but he's not an academic. This unfortunately means my first supervisor is very much in charge (or should be). When I have pursued my second supervisors' ideas, or when I went to another academic he just ignored these ideas! My second supervisor & I get on really well & I have confided in him before - he was really lovely & made me feel better in the short-term but he is similarly intimidated I think by my first supervisor (as are a few of the other staff in department it seems)! So even with this second supervisor on-board we didn't manage to pin down the first supervisor for research questions. We both just came out knackered!! Even my first year report was very vague & still more methodological than pinning down the content/ focus of where next unfortunately and this was never queried.
I do think the comment was meant to be funny, at least in part, though he's rather notorious for putting people's noses out of joint so a bit of "foot in mouth" too I think! As you said Keenbean, there is some truth in it (which is the bit that hurts I think!) but I was so angry he did it publicly.

Thanks again for both your comments - they really helped & I'm feeling a bit happier with it now. I think I'll take bits of all your advice - I have a meeting with both supervisors booked at the start of April & will raise issues again then I think as you suggest Keenbean (although I don't hold out that much hope) - I just hope he doesn't make any April Fools' "funny" comments, I couldn't cope!! & your advice on learning to take his feedback with a bigger pinch of salt and trying to stay confident that I will find something and things will come together...someday should really help Candle.

Cheers :)

Hi all,

I'm 1.5 years into my PhD and am at the end of my tether! I love my topic (in principle at least) but have never been that enamoured with my PhD, the reason being that I've never had a particular question, or route to pursue. My supervisor managed to get funding without the normal application so never had a project in mind. Initially I thought this was great but have come to hate the 'freedom' he gives me as whilst he'll never tell me what I should be doing/ working on he has plenty of ideas of what I shouldn't be doing. He ok'd my overall idea (I am a historical cartographer - he agreed to my dates and region of study) but now constantly being told he's "not keen" on what I've done towards this, or picking flaws in it, but never giving me constructive advice/ answers is bringing me down. He gets me to write informal written reports of my archival work and I have raised the issue of "where is this going?" and implied I am struggling (as finding something you don't know you're looking for in a massive archive doesn't work) at the end of most of these reports, and in my meetings, but it is usually dismissed with "keep going, you'll find something" or "your work is fine". At other times though it's him saying it's not fine. & I want it to be better than fine anyway!

It has all come to a head today when I went to help him with teaching his masters course as a favour and he promptly told them all that I wouldn't be speaking about my work as "she [me] doesn't know what she's doing". To which most people sniggered in pity. He knows I feel like this and am struggling with it so I'm gutted he made it into a public joke. I was just about keeping going as I still like the research and was hoping eventually he'd show some enthusiasm for something I find. But now I've lost nearly all faith in him & worse, feel embarrassed to tell him how I'm feeling as he made me feel so small for feeling it!

Any advice greatly appreciated. One side of me is shouting "quiiiitttt, if this was a job you'd be long gone" and today has significantly reduced my hope of things improving. The other stubborn side will bury her head in the sand and keep going for fear of regretting quitting in the future, and for letting people down (I just get a lot of "keep going, you'll find something" from my parents too).

Thanks :)