I completed my PhD in mechanical engineering in December 2019 and took a break of two months after it. My topic was finite element modeling of additive manufacturing process. I was supposed to join my PhD advisor for an interim postdoc position from February 2020, but faced some administrative issues causing delay. However, come March, with Covid, my official appointment was delayed till June.

I started doing postdoc with my PhD advisor since June last year. The contract ends the end of this year but will be renewed according to my advisor. I was productive during the first 7-8 months. I published 3 papers (PhD work), submitted 1 (postdoc work) last year. About to submit two more (Postdoc work). However, I am feeling less and less motivated as days passes.

I am doing quite different work than my PhD, so there's a lot to learn. I have collaborated with 3 different groups and different universities. But I am not able to concentrate on my work as I used to during my PhD. Also, my applications for industry jobs or other postdoc positions, which are scarcely available at the moment, are disappearing into the void. I am not getting any response.

I don't feel motivated anymore and I constantly feel lacking purpose. I should be brushing up my programming skills for job search, but I can't bring myself to do it.

I don't feel competitive and I have a constant feeling of regret and remorse about my past decisions. I shouldn't have pursued a PhD. I should have chosen different field of research. I should have taken more courses. I should have worked harder. I am dumb enough for a master's degree. I did not take my career seriously and now am facing the consequences.

I am an immigrant in the current country of residence and I have not been able to visit my home since two years. I think I am ruined and absolutely doomed. I can't see any joy in things. I am already 31 and I don't feel like meeting people, making relationships or carrying out hobbies. Who would want to be with a failure like me?

I don't know what to do now. Please advise.