Finally approved - any thoughts?

What would I write on my CV – would I even mention the PhD at all? If not, how do I explain the gap? I’m terrified of being asked why I had quit my PhD in a job interview. I could sneakily apply to jobs before I make it known that I wish to quit therefore keeping my funding, but I feel like that would be even harder to explain. Would my supervisor be angry at me? I’m guessing it would put him out of the question as a job reference. Who would employ me anyway? All of my professional experience is essentially research focussed, I have no real work experience. I don’t want to end up working in retail for the rest of my life, not after all the time and money invested in studying. Not to mention that if I do quit now I’ve already missed the yearly graduate recruitment window – I’d probably have to wait until autumn 2017 – that’s a 2 year gap in my CV compared to if I’d have landed a job as an undergraduate.

I don’t even know which sector I’d want to work in – I don’t feel I have enough specific skills to work in my field of study unless I were to go into the industry that I’ve already decided I don’t want to work in. I do honestly find science interesting, perhaps I could go into science communication, or work for the government on science policy – but how could I justify my passion for science if I drop out of a PhD that many people would kill to get?

It sounds silly but I kind of wish I’d never have applied for a PhD in the first place and that I’d kept applying for jobs – but now I’m doing one, I feel trapped! So there’s my dilemma. If anyone has any advice or thoughts please do let me know what you think. I’m sorry that this has turned out so long! Thanks [5/5]

7. I’m finding everything difficult. Even the reading and doing a literature review – there seems to be an endless archive of papers that may or may not be relevant and it’s difficult to tell which ones are worth reading, I don’t fully understand lots of them, I feel like I forget everything as soon as I’ve read it. I have no idea how to, on top of this, keep up with new papers being released. Although this project is largely in the same area as my Masters project, it is also very different especially in regards to the techniques used and the background knowledge required (much of which wasn’t taught at my undergraduate university).

8. I don’t like the lack of structure. I find myself getting in later every morning. I procrastinate a lot. With no real deadlines as such, I find it hard to motivate myself to work hard. I know there are techniques to help with things like procrastination but with no real goal in mind I subconsciously feel like I don’t work hard because I don’t actually know what I’m doing.

9. I can tell things are going to get more difficult. Long days in the lab, working late/weekends, more responsibilities, everyone keeps warning me about it. Maybe I’ll keep up, maybe I’ll start to understand things a bit more, but regardless, all I hear is that things get harder.

10. If I’m going to quit I might as well do it before I’m in too deep. There’s less to lose, a smaller gap in my CV. If I’m this disheartened I might not even pass my yearly monitoring – it’s better to quit than to fail right?

Despite all of these reasons I’ve listed above, there’s one big thing holding me back. I’m terrified of quitting. I’m terrified of being unemployed, desperately applying for jobs, with no money because my living allowance has been cut. [4/5]

3(cont) But I don’t fully understand many of the things my supervisor says, I think he thinks I know more than I do. It’s very different from my Masters project, it’s not a neat little project with a clear structure. I’m sceptical about much of what my supervisor is suggesting; I don’t want to waste lots of time collecting data for someone to say that my data is meaningless and my method was flawed, the idea terrifies me.

4. My supervisor. He is a very big cheese, he’s very busy and often away for extended periods of time – we currently meet every 3 weeks or so (which apparently is pretty good for him), I can see that becoming much more infrequent. He has lots and lots of ideas which he likes to discuss enthusiastically, but I find it difficult to identify what is worth looking into. He’ll tell me to do things that are very simple to him, but I don’t have the foggiest how to do them. Much of what I’m researching seems to be things he finds interesting but that I don’t think will be particularly applicable to the questions I want to answer.

5. I don’t want a career in academia. I’ve thought this even before beginning, and everything I’ve seen has just confirmed it. I hate the idea of being in a transient state of doing post-docs, moving every 2 years, desperately looking for a positions that are very few-and-far between. I want something stable.

6. Part of what attracted me to this specific project was the strong industry links (not industry funded I should add), I thought it would make me a shoe-in for a job in this industry when it’s back in a boom. I’ve since realised, for reasons I won’t divulge, that I don’t want to go into this industry. [3/5]

Christmas was wonderful, I had two weeks off, I spent them with my girlfriend and my family and I loved it. I did no work but that’s okay because nobody else in my year did either apparently. And then I came back, back to work. And since then, I’ve had this unshakeable feeling of sadness and lethargy. So let me list below a few reasons I think I want to quit my PhD:

1. I really miss my girlfriend. We’re in a long-distance relationship – a good few hours away. Since starting, we’d see each other for a weekend once every 3 weeks or so. It was tough but I thought it was doable. Having now spent a whole 2 weeks together, I really really miss her. I also realised that I want to move in together, perhaps even start a family in the not-too-distant future. But we can’t do that while I’m trapped in this other city. I worry that as I go on, I’ll have even less free time, fewer weekends where I’m free, more guilt and anxiety about having a day off and not doing any work, I feel like this will just build.

2. I don’t like the city I’m in, I have no friends here at all. I feel like I could make some decent friendships with people in the office, but there’s not the instant click there was when I was a first-year undergrad. I have no hobbies and I feel like an outsider being a PhD student, like I wouldn’t be welcome even if I did try to join a club/society because they’re filled with undergrads.

3. I feel like I have no direction. I find it difficult to define my project, what questions I want to answer, what kind of data I’d like to collect and how I’ll do that. It has already deviated from the project proposal – which I know is very common. [2/5]

Hi everyone! So I'm 3 months into my PhD and I'm already thinking that I want to quit. I could really use some advice. Sorry that this is so long (6 parts!)

First a bit of background about me: I did a four-year integrated Masters degree in science at a very good UK university. I loved it. I graduated with a 1st, I won awards, I was a stellar student. I really enjoyed my Master’s project, I enjoyed manipulating data, I enjoyed writing up my short little dissertation and crafting a story. But I hated thinking about my future. Around this time last year it was coming to the scary job-application figure-out-what-to-do-with-your-life period, and I applied to a few jobs here and there and wasn’t successful. I should add that the job market in my subject area is very boom-or-bust, and it was very much in a downturn – everyone was really struggling. So I started to think – hey, maybe I could do a PhD, I’m bright, I enjoy research, I’m a good writer, I’d like to do a little teaching, why not? So I applied to a few that sounded interesting, I was accepted onto my first choice PhD, everything was great – life sorted for the next four years.
I know not being able to find a job is a terrible reason to apply for a PhD but I was terrified of graduating and having nothing to do, and although I had very good grades I never managed to get any internships or significant work experience, so I thought I had no chance of finding one.

So I’m 3 months into my PhD. Things were going OK, some days were fine, enjoyable even, some days I really didn’t like it. But I powered on. Then came the Christmas break. [1/5]