I am fully funded by two institutions. One of these is a research centre and the other is a university. At the research centre there are 100s of postgrads, and people generally finish relatively close to on time. I think the norm is 2-3 months over, although students do occasionally go more than 6 months over. It doesn't seem to be frowned upon at all - in fact I know that staff often try to help students out by finding them small bits and pieces of work that they can be paid for while finishing writing.

At the university there are only about 15 postgrads. While everyone talks the talk that you should be planning to finish in 3 years on the dot, I have yet to see this happen. Most people are at least 3-6 months over by submission, although they often lose their desk space and their supervisors may not be able to continue supervising at the same level, i.e. they are happy to read chapters and review, but unwilling to get involved with repeated or new experiments (not that anyone would realistically be planning to do anything like that 6 months over their time limit!). There is one guy who was planning to be finished in 2 years, but he has now revised to 2.5 years, and may revise up again. I think the limiting factor if often the speed which your supervisors read and correct chapters for you!

There is a guy who is 55+ in my office who has taken about 6 years to do his PhD so definitely not a problem!! During my interview I said I was concerned that I had a taken a year off to work and that I might have forgotten things. My supervisor said he wouldn't even take that kind of thing into consideration until someone had been out of uni for 10+ years so don't think you will have any issues! Good luck :)

I am taking 2 weeks off to go to Germany and spend Christmas with my in-laws, but realistically it will be more like 3 because we are staying with my parents before and after our travel. However, I think I will spend two weeks of that time working. I have lit review corrections to do, and I also want to finish a wee mini-paper for a handbook that's being published online, plus do some reading and look at some of my initial results. I only actually need to do the lit review corrections, but I'm on a roll with writing at the moment (which hardly ever happens!!) so don't want to let that go to waste. And also after months of feeling confused and lost I'm finally getting really excited and enthusiastic about my project, so I don't actually want to take a break while I'm enjoying it so much!

Really sorry to hear you're feeling like this, Louise, but as the other posters have all said - everyone feels this way. I'm a 1st year student, 7.5 months in and I have been feeling lost, scrabbling around from one topic to another and feeling like I'm going sideways a lot and never forwards!! And of course, the stress makes everything so much worse because its much harder to come up with ideas when you are under pressure (unless you're one of those lucky people who thrive on it!).

I have been really worried about my progress, right up until the last couple of weeks when two things happened which made me reflect a bit more on the whole thing. Firstly, I attended a really great personal and professinal development course designed for first year PhD students. One of the things we talked about was expectations, and feeling like we didn't know what we were doing. The ladies running the course had both done PhDs themselves, and they really got us talking honestly about how we felt and our fears and anxieties. When you're in an office full of busy people, you often feel like you must be the only one who doesn't feel confident in what they're doing. At this course, it was amazing to find that literally everyone in the room felt exactly the same - confused, lacking in self-confidence, that they had some how snuck in under the radar and actually weren't intelligent enough to be there. The ladies running explained that this was so completely normal. It is really important to remember that a PhD is in essence training for research. Yes, you are expected to produce some research while doing it, but you are also supposed to learn and make mistakes along the way.

Two of the main things people worried about were that they didn't know what they were doing, and that they weren't making progress. The Drs said that it was rare for anyone to completely have nailed down their research questions until around 18 months. People often make a lot of progress without thinking they are, and aims and goals are changed to fit in with the kind of things the data is showing. With regards to progress and supervisor expectations they said that it is often a problem that supervisors kind of bury their heads in the sand, and won't say if they think a candidate is struggling. Well, that has to be stopped because they are supposed to be training you! They gave us a list of really good, blunt questions to ask our supervisor. Things like 'What milestones should I be reaching in 1, 3, 6, etc months?', 'Do you think this topic is appropriate for a PhD?', 'Am I on track for the 1st year transition?'. If the answer is not favourable, ask them why. They are there to help you reach those goals, but often they won't offer advice until asked for it. Remember your supervisors have done PhDs too. You may find that they have felt the exact same way at some point.

The other thing that made me think was that I got an e-mail from my supervisor wishing me a happy Christmas and saying that I'd made great progress so far. I was really stunned by this as we (perhaps not wisely) had not talked about my progress, and I had been really really certain that I was making no progress, behind, slow, stupid in my ideas for research, etc. I too had been feeling like I was giving my supervisor a bunch of ideas at every meeting and that none of them were good enough. What I had forgotten was one of the first things my supervisor said to me, 'I am here to support you, but also to challenge you.'. I had also forgotten that I wanted to be academically challenged. I think even at an undergrad level you get used to seeing good feedback on your work and pretty high marks which let you know you are doing fine. As a PhD student, your supervisor won't tell you 'Hey, well done, that's a great thought!'; they will think of something you haven't thought of and challe

Thank you so much to all of you for your kind replies. I'm sorry I have taken so long - life has been a bit hectic in a number of ways recently! I'm also really sorry to read of other people in similar positions, although of course I'm grateful for your advice. I think you've all made it really clear to me that its important to go with how you feel. Some days I may feel like working to take my mind off things, and to be doing something positive, and other days I made just really feel like going home to give my step-dad a hug, and that's fine too. I am really fortunate that my supervisors are very understanding, and I only live 2 hours from home, so I can even pop back for evenings.

I've been having a think about my priorities, and while my PhD means so much to me, my family will always be the most important thing to me. Just realising than and clarifying it in my mind has made me feel more comfortable that things are okay at the moment, but if I feel the need to take time off I will, and will do my best not to feel guilty. The other thing I really thought about was the fact that maybe I will take a bit of time off within the next few months. At the moment my step-dad is doing pretty well and is still able to enjoy a lot of things in life, and do some of the things he loves doing. I will have a talk with him about, but I think it might be important to do some of the things that we've planned on doing as a family while he is still able to do them. I'm not sure, but I'm thinking that enjoying life with him might be more important that going home if/when things get to the stage where he is asleep all day. Although of course, I will want to be there for my mum.

I'm trying to meet several deadlines before heading back for Christmas, but I will take up your offers to PM over the holidays!

Thanks again for your replies, they're really appreciated. Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

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Hi,

I am just looking for some advice on my current situation. I am a PhD student,7 months into my first year out of three. Things are going fine - I am really happy with my course, supervisors and subject. At the end of October we found out that my step-father (who is like a second father to me) is terminally ill with cancer. It was a horrible shock as he has always been fit and healthy and is only in his 60s. He has been told he is likely to have between 6-18 months to live depeing on how he does with chemotherapy. As you can imagine, the news has been devestating for my family, and especially my mother.

I have told my supervisors of the situation and they have been really understanding and said its not a problem for me to take time off or to get a suspension for weeks/months if I need it. At the moment my step-father is still doing pretty well, and we are all somewhat in denial. However, I know I have to face the reality that he may not be with us by the end of my PhD. I know there will be times when I need and want to be with my family in the coming months and years, and also to be able to support my mother when the worst does happen.

However, I am concerned that taking several months off might make it very difficult to get back into mt studies, and am thinking it might be better to suggest going part time. I was wondering if anyone else had been in a similar situation, and would be able to suggest what kind of arrangement might work best? Is it difficult to get back into your project after a big gap? Or is it better to take the time rather than trying to carry on part-time during a time that is very difficult emotionally?

I also don't want to abuse the system. I find it difficult to know how much time it is appropriate to take off as a PhD feels somewhere in between work and study to me. In a workplace you obviously wouldn't be able to take months off, but while studying at an undergraduate level you are given more consideration if you or a member of your immediate family is ill. At the moment I have been taking Thursday's off to attend chemo with my family, and am making up the time at weekends, which I feel ok about. But I think I would feel guilty for taking a lot of time off.