pm133, I am sorry to have worried you. I felt the worst when I was absolutely unable to check emails and absolutely unable to go out for 10months. I didn't know how to ever get out of my vicious anxiety cycle. But ever since I practiced my first exposure, I am feeling a lot better. It took me months to be ready for the first exposure, and it felt like hell going through it, but it's been a big relief. I just made an appointment with GP today. I'm not sure what will happen to my PhD, but with every step of exposure, I get liberated from the anxiety. I can finally feel that my life is so much more than the PhD.

Thank you so much, your replies have provided me with an immense mental support and practical tips. I went to the disability support appointment today, where the officer kept smiling while I explained my difficult situations of the past 10 months. I felt like a sobbing idiot or a little kid making up all the excuses. I have always felt like an imposter with my mental health.

She kindly informed me that there is nothing that she can do to help, I just need to check the email by myself and talk with the admin team by myself - even though, if I could do that, I wouldn't have been here to begin with...

She helped me to identify the most critical email and the person I need to talk to the most urgently. I did send this email and the response I received was "1. in order to apply for re-reinstatement, fill the form in the link," "2. you might have bleached your visa condition: get in touch with the government department." I was rather hoping to have a conversation with someone to find out my options.

Anyway, I did state that I'm looking for someone who could assist me with the situation, while CCing my supervisors in. I'll make an appointment with the student union, to see if there is anything I could do. My family is visiting me for a week knowing that I'm falling apart. With their help I am now somehow managing to do the above tasks, but to imagine doing this alone after they leave makes me very upset.

I know that I cannot play the victim knowing that checking emails are critical for managing my candidature. I still wish that university was more supportive of student who was having a difficulty.

Due to my life-threatening anxiety, I could not check emails for the past 9 months. I knew that I had important dates during that period, including my review and expected thesis submission date. I knew it was better to do something, ask for help, but my anxiety was so so enormous that I just couldn't face it. I've been house-bounded for the past 9 months. Because my visa is expiring soon I finally had the courage to open my email, just to find out that potentially I had already been terminated.

Now, I'm thinking of going to the university to find out the details, but I don't even know what to ask.

I have been having mental health illness since 2015, I have previously took 1year leave and I have been a part-time since then. I have submitted to the university more than handful letters from the doctors, but not this past 9 months. Since I could not check emails, answer the phone, leave the house, I could not see my psychiatrist either. When I was depressed I could at least check emails and see the doctors, but with anxiety it was impossible.

My thesis is about 80% complete - all the experiments are done, analysis is done, I just need to write up the rest of 4 chapters. Even if there is no way to get back to this university, I want to finish my PhD thesis somehow. What would your advice be? What help should I ask tomorrow at the university? I've been a bit suicidal the past 9 months, so I'll be really really grateful if you would kindly refrain from making a harsh comment.