Hello everyone, I really need your best advise.
I'm currently taking a course in scientific writing which is being a horrible stress to me, in fact, for a lot of the students in the course. Every single document I give her is "average", even though my supervisor likes them and wants to publish. She wants me to write down what she wants. The only documents that are correct for her are from those students who are almost done with their studies. Obviously, they are almost done, they already dominate their theme. This is my last course to take, but have a lot of field work yet to do. In fact, I started researching my theme this year, even though this is my third yr in grad school. I was working full time as a research associate and studying at the same time. The time came when you have to decide between grad-school or work and I chose to finish my PhD. That happened 01/2009. I started researching my theme and enrolled in this course and another one because it seemed to be good to have the exercise of writing the proposal (goal of the course) while doing all the reading process+the aid of the professor all together. Unfortunately, just starting the semester my marriage broke and today I'm PhD grad student and single mom of two (8yrs and 15mths). When this happened i decided to drop the course because obviously, it was not the right time to take it and I wanted to stay with the other course I was taking that semester and the TA (+separation+kids+depression), so I can survive as a human being!. The professor was opposed. She was "if I let you, you are dropping the school and that isn't good for anybody", "it doesn't make sense for you to take the course again", "I'm going to make you do the assignments", "you are a very bright person and you can do this". Obviously, I couldn't write the proposal in such a mental distress I was living although I did gave her other work that had to be done. She decided I was finishing the course this current semester. I've been working as she wants but she is not pleased, even though my supervisor is (I want his corrections before giving anything to her).
At this point I really feel sick of this woman. I'm really angry with this situation. My boss doesn't know yet. She's the only one offering the course and is requisite for graduation. We argue the other day and I told her I'm leaving and finding a job (currently I'm an IGERT fellow (NSF)). I can't handle this anymore. She called the registrar to leave the grade of that course blank for me one more semester (BTW, she is the assistant to the Dean of Natural Sciences in my Uni). I feel like this is herrasment. I don't understand this and I am back-off with this course. I can't work with her. I don't know how to resolve this either.
Please any advise will be very appreciated.

Hi CC: I've talked to two of his students. One told me that if he is after me it is because he is going to give me of his time, but she also said that he is a "macho", very strict and before deciding anything I should rotate in the lab. The other student I talked to said "don't tell me that you are flirting with the idea of getting in there? don't do that! that's molecular biology hard core!". When I said that he is the one who's "flirting" me trying to recruit me her faced changed completely with a very puzzled expression. I'm also puzzled with that reaction of her and I don't know what to think about it. I've talked to other students around about getting in his lab and all the answers are carefully think before talking and they all say I should rotate before deciding...I have to say he's been waiting for me a whole semester and he make me clear that I have a space in that lab... but I'm still afraid... probably because of the unknown...

Hi,I've been talking to a potential supervisor about the possibilities I have to be part of his lab for my PhD studies in molecular biology. In fact,he's the one who has been behind me trying to recruit me, including e-mails and phone calls trying to convince me.He is a recognized member of the faculty,his lab has funding, publishes every year, young, energetic, great lecturer, good network.There are spaces available right now for students. He has been very flexible with me about the working hours(but I really have doubts about this,I'm kind of afraid this is not going to be true at the end).Here are the concerns: Field is unknown to me and he knows I have no experience,I'm 30 years old already,I've been doing some research about him and there are not so good recommendations:neurotic,extremely exigent,controller, micro-manager(people in his lab say they would love if he's not there so often),not so friendly guy.His family is abandoned because of work (he told me this up front)and his insistence to recruit me is kind of weird to me.When is time to choose a supervisor, is it worthy to avoid social skills and temperament of the possible supervisor for a good thesis?

I heard this phrase in a dialogue:

"The punish of the scientist is the dead of the heart"

What do you think about it?

Do you really need a PhD for secondary school teaching? Do not waste your time if you don't have to.

Hi, if you really believe you choose the wrong career and are convinced you should start again doing what you really like, do it. You can not be harming yourself doing something you don't like for the rest of your life. But just reflect for a moment if you are doing this because of frustration with the project (or supervisor or whatever...) or simply because you finally realized this is not for you. Try to be objective, when we are depressed, sadness and frustrations and blames do not let us see the reality as it is... Good luck and peace of mind.

Reply part 3:
...I'm undecided about him because of the negative comments, although, as I just said, to me he tried to be pleasant. I'm a little confused about him because I'm not sure if his interest in me is a real one or just because there are 4 people leaving the lab at this time and he needs to recruit. Because of the bad comments, I'm kind of afraid that he is pleasant just to recruit and after being in his lab he is going to turn out to be the arrogant and neurotic people describes he is...
After all, I'm aware he is a really hard worker and a very competitive researcher...
If you where me, what would you choose?

REPLY PART 2:
I'm not currently in his lab, yet, cause I'm not a full time PhD student (have a FT job) and don't have as much time as he likes his people to be there in the lab. In addition, I have a 5 years old daughter to take care of without any help from family. He asked me to quit my job and he was going to look for some kind of assistantship (obviously never the same salary as with a FT job). In addition he said the girl is not a problem because he also have a daughter and he knows what it is to be a parent.. I have to say he has been very pleasant to me in terms of all the "conditions" I told him (looking for some kind of "escape" because of the negative comments about him and because I need a little more time to put my things together and quit job and finally be a FT PhD student).
Despite this, the supervisor described by kittun is the kind of supervisor he is, although his own people in the lab say he is annoying because of that same behavior.

Kittun, I really agree with what you said about a good supervisor: "My current supervisor....always want to see me everyday. She wanted me to be in the lab all the time..if not working, just have a chit-chat..while me is thinking in other way..I love to sit on my work station to read and read if there is nothing to do in the lab. She is very strict about the time, and makes me feel dizzy at the moment. Yes, she makes me tension but if I analyze back, she is a good supervisor indeed because she make sure I am on the track and do my job all the time! :)"
Theres is a supervisor in my dpt who was behind me all past semester trying to recruit me for his lab. The thing is that I did the "research" about him and there are a lot of negative comments, in terms of his exigencies about time and his personality kind of arrogant and neurotic.....

Hi, this is my first posting and I'm looking for some advise about how to choose a good supervisor. I'm starting my second year of PhD and still not have a supervisor. Last year I rotated two times in two different labs but not getting convinced about those labs, basically because of the supervisors. They where never in the lab, it was hard to meet with them... I'm kind of disappointed with both experiences. Is it normal for a supervisor not to be there? What are the characteristics that describes best a good supervisor?
Thanks for your comments =) (sorry for my english, it is not my first language)