Hi,
I am quite a new postgrad student, started in october 2009. I have a family with two young girls (10 and 13) and a part time job. I absolutely love my PhD project, but I am really struggling with the combination of everything. If I have a busy weekend I can't work much during the week because I get really depressed and exhausted. I feel terribly guilty. Take this week. We had a lovely offer from our neighbours to spend Saturday night in a luxury hotel with spa, swimming pool, gym, etc. To achieve this I had to make so many preparations (take the dog to a friend 45 mins away and pick him up again on Sunday, work friday evening, do shopping, have two hours of student teaching, etc.) that the hotel experience made me even more exhausted rather than relaxed. I haven't worked much on Monday, yesterday I spent most of the day in bed and even today I am still not motivated. Perhaps it's because I haven't worked full time (my PhD is full time) for 14 years, since my eldest was born and I have always been suffering from depression on and off and I need some time to get adjusted? I don't know, but this has happened twice this month, how am I supposed to get this PhD done on time? I feel so guilty because I am supposed to work at least 7 1/2 hours a day and I am not making that a lot of the time. Also, the school holidays are a nightmare. I only get 8 weeks a year, but my girls have 13 weeks. The weeks that I am not off are filled with guilt if I leave them at home for a few hours, guillt because I can't spend enough time on my PhD, trying to find friends they can stay with, or play schemes (which they often don't like). We thought about having an au pair again, like we had when I did my undergraduate degree, but at the moment we just cannot afford it as my husband's work (he works for himself) has been dodgy because of the recession. I really want to do this PhD, perhaps I just have to accept what I am at the moment and do and give what I can? Guilt, guilt, guilt!
:-(