Thinking about it, I would like to change this post, to a discussion about all first-time experiences related to the pursuit of a PhD. I hope it catches on and is a reference of things to look out for or things to expect along the way (you could just read other posts... shut up! Who said that :p). A candid expose on the reality of doctoral studies. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Thank you BilboBaggins and Candle for sharing your first with me. It would seem that you both had a good experience, which was reassuring.

BilboBaggins I took my lead from your experience and kept my opinions to myself. The discussions are still lengthy and I have a new second supervisor. Well I am five months in now and Candle you were right, the honeymoon period is over. My Super is very attentive when we are together but has a heavy workload. The result is low accessibility, which is not to big a deal.

I have had my work corrected a few times and I always have mixed feelings. I feel excited that my work to date has been read, as it often means I can progress. It also creates good discussions. It also however brings a curious sensation of annoyance, when swathes of writing are eviscerated with red ink (oh I am having an English GCSE flash back). I am probably being precious but sometimes those sentences represent hours of reading, writing and cider lifting (not necessarily in that order)! :p

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I had my first meeting with my Super today and it lasted 3 hours. I am writing up the meeting minutes, like a good student researcher :p It was fun talking to someone, who is excitable about stuff other people in my life would tell me to shut up about. Like many firsts it was full of promise. Next time I might be less nervous, when offering my opinion. From some of the threads I have read, it seems it is all down hill from here :$

Thinking about it, I would like to change this post, to a discussion about all first-time experiences related to the pursuit of a PhD. I hope it catches on and is a reference of things to look out for or things to expect along the way (you could just read other posts... shut up! Who said that ). A candid expose on the reality of doctoral studies. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Hi 4matt

Sorry to hear how you feel. I wanted to say that the one thing I noticed about your post is that you didn't state a goal of your own. You commented about where you see others and where you do not want to be but you didn't comment on where you would like to be. However the more I read it over, I suppose you have inferred what you would like. I think you would like a partner, property or some kind of stability which signifies adulthood. I think you should pick a goal and work towards it, other things have a habit of falling in place along the way.

It sounds like you have lost focus of why you are doing your PhD. Remember what made you undertake it in the first place and maybe ask yourself is the reason still there (however suppressed under the weight of your thoughts). I hope it is and that you find it and it empowers you. If your reason is no longer valid maybe you should not continue. I am in no way playing devils advocate and do not think it is my place to advise you either way. However it is my sincere hope that you realise that you have an option and that it is your decision to make. Instead of offering condolences and asking you to march on. I would like to remind you that you have a choice and that you should

I am writing proposals this evening and on my scheduled round of procrastinating I read your post and felt like I should respond. I do not mean to be cliché but nothing is new (not what a PhD student should say), but I personally find my resolve strengthened by quotes.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sometimes when we ask ourselves if we measure up, we forget that we might be made for bigger/different things.
"I won't have my own house, am highly unlikely to be in any kind of relationship, and feel like I'm heading toward a life of never owning a house, never really feeling settled anywhere, and generally failing in life." A house, a car, some children do not a success make. They make a home owner, a car owner and a father ( I hope you laughed, or at least smirked at that. I thought it was funny). Be successful on your own terms. Be positive, changing your perspective can really change your mood. Write down all the things you are sincerely grateful for and maybe even post them and we can talk about them as well.