Thank you, guys :)

Keenbean, to answer your question-yes, I am doing PhD at the moment, that is why I have fears that I will have less chance finding a new PhD position if people know that I dropped this one..I don´t really know. Actually, I hope it is not going to be a problem for most of them because that is not how I usually do things :). But I studied 5 years away from home, in a foreign country and the least I want is to spend the next 3-4 years doing something that really inspires me and not something I have to do in order to get a title. Anyway, thanks a lot for the nice replies but I guess I really have to take a firm decision for myself...I am a grown-up now and I have to deal with things :).

Hi to all :)

I have the following problem...Last year I graduated a university in Germany and my wish was to do PhD in another country and in a certain field of science. It didn´t work...eventually I got a position in a new group in a small town in Germany and I have been here for the last three months. Now I am considering leaving this job and trying to pursue my dreams. But I am scared. Last year I got some rejections that is why I gave up, actually very quickly, and agreed to start doing something that was last on my list. Now I am scared again that if I quit here I won´t be able to find what I am looking for or that people won´t be very eager to hire a student who already dropped one PhD position. It is just that life here is extremely lonely for me-I don´t have any friends at all and I am very depressed all the time. It is a really small town with not so many opportunities for entertainment. Although people in the lab are very nice to me, they already have their own lives and it is difficult to make close friends. Of course, we do some things together when someone organizes them but it is not very often. I also consider it a difficulty to be a foreign student in an environment that is not international since there are no other people who share your fate. The other thing is the project which I just don´t find interesting..it is not stupid or something but I really feel no interest and enthusiasm. And all these things combined really make me want to die sometimes. I cannot imagine living and working here for the next four years and to some extent I have already taken the decision for myself and started getting more information for projects that I really find exciting. But I have no idea how to bring this up to my boss because he is a nice guy and he has been very helpful up to now in all aspects. I feel really guilty that I will leave him because he has no other students at the moment. I want to be loyal but I also want to live my life and make the decisions which are best for me. The alternative is to stay and go completely out of my mind. I also don´t know when is the best time point to tell him about my decision cause I intend to apply to some places already and I will have to explain if I am lucky and am invited to an interview. Two persons are fighting within me-the one thinks "I am young, it is the time to risk, to try to follow my dreams and do what I want" and the other is the cautious one that feels responsible and loyal and does not want to do anything to hurt other people but is constantly making me forget that I have to care about myself first if I want to have at least the chance to be happy. It is really a difficult situation for me cause I knew all this is going to happen but I nevertheless ignored it and took this job cause I thought I will never get what I want.

This turned into a really long post but I would be really very thankful if people who ever were in this situation could share some experience.

Thank you :)