Thanks for all your responses :-) and for letting me vent. I really needed to get that off my chest, but you are all right: think positive and moving on. I will aim to put it past me and get a thicker skin because academia is tough nonetheless.

And I agree, Cakeman, the lack of transparency in how these procedures play out is consternating, and definitely warrants some consideration.

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I need to share my viva story please! Any thoughts or suggestions welcome.

I just had my viva yesterday and it was the most horrible experience ever. I submitted after 3 years and 9 months with encouragement and approval of my 2 supervisors who thought the thesis was ready. We picked the two examiners quite carefully (or so we thought).

Basically, it was the most intense/difficult experience of my life. Aside from the unfortunate fact that I have been riddled by a nasty cold the days leading up to the viva, I was as expected, nervous. But I was also looking forward to discussing my topic with these two academics.

It turns out, they were not at all interested in discussing the content of my thesis, but rather chose to focus on methodology for most of the time. For the first two hours (it lasted 3h30) I had no idea what they were thinking about my thesis. They gave me no indication whatsoever at the beginning until after the deliberation. I know they don't have to tell you, but it was pretty harsh to have no idea what they were thinking whilst trying to answer their questions appropriately. It was harder because it meant that I had no idea why they were asking me the questions that they did (was it because they didn't like it, or they just wanted to know my rationale, etc...?)

Anywho, at some point the 2 hours, I get a break at some point because they see that I was shivering and not doing too well (b/c of the aforementioned cold), but frankly I was quite happy to have a chance to go grab a tea and burst into tears because I was near tipping point in the viva but obviously did not want to do that in front of them.

So after the first two hours, I leave the room while they deliberate for 15-20 minutes and go back in. They finally tell me that I've passed because they think my work is of doctoral level (first positive comment) but that there are major weaknesses. The internal starts enumerating the changes they want me to make, and when I open my mouth, she dismisses me and says 'the viva is over.' I start to freak out because it is only then that they start to tell me exactly what they had a problem with, and while it relates to the questions they were asking me earlier, the way the questions were formulated did not indicate these issues.

I was intent on defending one point that slightly related to my argument (everything else was methodology based) but when I showed them exactly where I do the things they say I don't (with references to my chapter) they say it doesn't matter. I feel like I didn't get a chance to defend the thesis, because I only found out what the issues were at the end, when I couldn't say anything.

I'm trying to be positive, but I can't get over how it went down. Thought?