still unable to do anything...just basic body functions (minus proper sleep) plus childcare function. I've tried to write a cv but can't.....arguments with husband...suicidal thoughts...I feel I'm falling deeper and deeper into dark cave.... only my childrens motivate me to get dress up or do anything at all.Only when I see them smile I can stop crying for a while... I felt so much better few weeks ago...I thought I can deal with it but after a while it hit me.....and I'm on my knees now.....Why it is so much worse now than it felt before? Is it normal ? How long it should last? ....

Thank you TRU for sharing that story and the idea of "graduate research scholar" I think it sounds much better than PhD withdraw.
I don't mind going back to industry (where I worked after my MSc and before my PhD for 4 years).The thing is my self esteem (that wasn't particularly high) now hit the rock bottom. Of course I understand that my route wasn't the easiest one but I need to admit that there is a lot of my own fault in this failure as well. I don't think I could work at Uni and being reminded what could have been every single day. I don't think that I will ever get a chance to do another PhD as well because : 1) I'm 36 - so already old for academic career 2) hugely in debts so no way can afford self funded PhD 3) under fierce competition for scholarships and history of failures there is zero probability of me securing another funding. I think it is fair to say that it is over for me in respect of PhD. I need to say I am not good enough for this kind of job and I've learnt it the hard way. What is really sad is after all this time I walk away with nothing when even a MSc can get PG diploma if one fails MSc. I can't afford to take time off as I need to eat, feed my kids, pay bills and pay off debts.Time off is a luxury I can't afford I'm afraid. Have no idea how to even begin with my messed up CV...No help from Uni either...Even Google have not much to offer...Only you guys :) Should I write skills based CV perhaps? Explain situation in cover letter, blame everything on circumstances or myself (I think the true lays in the middle). I can't even be fair to myself as I feel so crap.How can I sell myself to employer?.....

thank you all for your warm words...I guess gaining back that confidence might be the hardest part (apart from getting the job).
I try to focus on good stuff - like my family ( kids are finally ok and they are just great!), as for GP..I waited 6 months for paediatric visit (by the time they were ready to see him I had to go private route or watch my child suffer!), I've tried to get some counselling at my uni...waiting time : 6 weeks. The meeting was a joke and lasted about 20 min. I don't believe in it anymore.I'll be fine and I know I'll get out of this. It's just not an easy thing mentally and practically.. Now my husband, who was extremely supportive and great, is depressed as all that kept him going , apart from our family, he said, was that one day I'll get my PhD and we'll be set for life....

I wasn't research assistant so I don't want to lie... The thing that timefortea suggests is more or less what actually happened as my children had medical condition, later on I had problems with myself as well...The reason I've stayed so long instead move on was I was told by everybody that it's going to be ok and I'll get there eventually...well..I didn't and I kind of knew it 2 years ago but agreed to extend.... I don't know if I would like to publish - it would be such a shame to just bin all the stuff- as it is quite a bit of new science, but on the other hand...I can't force myself to even think about it... With all this project - I think it's more like divorce - it is rarely one person fault. How I should put it in CV than- PhD student, PhD candidate, Phd - withdrawn? I am so down as I know how bad this looks like in the eyes of employers... I've never been so miserable in my life....The thing I regret the most is that my passion and love for science( I had this since 6-7 years old) just died...or disappeared somewhere and I don't know how to define myself other than scientist. Should I omit it ( as I have MSc in other discipline and 4 years work experience) and pretend I was on maternity for 6 years? But I've gained quite a few skills during my PhD so...how to show them without showing this massive failure...

I don't know what to do with myself now so....I was in PhD programme for over 6.5 years (I had 8 months maternity and 2 years of extension due to personal circumstances) and I failed to write up PhD (I had only about 10000 words) and I was strongly advised to withdraw to not let university fail me. I am not sure how is this put me in the better position (it looks def better in Uni and my supervisors records). Anyway- I did withdraw from PhD on my submission deadline day (hard deadline as it is UK).I did a lot of work and my supervisor still wants me to publish after I feel ready to look at the stuff again (to get what he think could be high impact publication) and to "prove to myself"...- I don't know what really I can prove?...I think I might get good references as well despite the outcome.... I was told that perhaps it wasn't meant to be this time and I might start clean again when my life sort out and I feel ready to do so....I can't find words to describe how I feel but that is not the reason I post here. I don't know what I want to do now and if I ever would like to return to academia but the fact is now I have debts and young family and I need provide for ... What to put on my CV for this over 6 years PhD failure? What should I say to potential employers (without being to descriptive about personal reasons behind extensions)? I feel like I have leprosy now as everybody avoiding me and Uni provide no career advice to drop-outs or any other support apart from everybody feel pity for me (more in a sense - wow- I'm so glad I'm not her). If like I do not exist at all.... Any one can advice me please? I feel so down and so lost...I need a job, desperately... Please help...