Thank you for your advice, yeah it's made me realise what's important and what I want in life. I've never been sure if a PhD is for me and I feel like I only accepted this because it was the only opportunity that I had and thought i'd be silly to turn it down. I just know that if I knew I could find a decent job in France without a PhD i'd quit in an instant. I have no passion for research and have no idea what I am doing here. My life is a mess..I probably won't quit without at least doing the rotations but it's going to be a rocky road.

After a year out after finishing my masters I was unsure about doing a PhD straight away, but applied for both jobs and PhDs. The situation was complicated because I now live in France (also did during my year out because I came to live with my partner of 5 years) and finding a job here is tough. I got offered a position on a really great programme over here but even once I accepted it I was never excited...dread was more the word. Not only because it's 7 hours from my partner but I still wasn't sure if research was for me, but I was convinced I'd need it for a career afterwards (I want to work in pharma, definitely not academics) , and everyone advised me to take it. I thought it was too good an opportunity to turn down.

Now I'm here, having moved into a flat, had to get a car because of the location and spend money on furniture and a flat, it has hit me like a ton of bricks that I don't think this is for me. We have to do three 1 month rotations so have to visit labs this week and talk to PIs to decide on projects. I feel no passion for any of it, and whilst everyone else is enthusiastic and happy to be there I just feel lost with a huge weight on my shoulders and want nothing more than to quit and find a job. I'm really worried about money though since I borrowed money in the first place to move. I also feel like a total failure, I regret accepting it and my family would probably be so disappointed and think I am just being silly. I'm not sure what to do but surely it's better to quit now than months down the line. Job prospects also terrify me now that I've had a year out and I have little experience in anything out of the lab. Any advice would be appreciated!