Hey all,

I finished my undergrad in Eng Lit in 2016 and then i had a two year gap because i didn't know exactly what to do next. I decided to do an MSc in Marketing here in the UK with the Postgrad loan because i think it will give me great opportunities in the future. So i came here, the first semester passed by fast but i guess i was not managing my studying correctly (two years out of the student life made me forget this) and when i went back home for a whole month during the holidays, i realized not only that i had a tonne to read but that in order to understand and remember all these i was going really slow. Here i have to say that i have many suspicions that i am dyslexic and that is why i'm generally going so slow. So, i had a huge scare during the exam period, i could see my life being destroyed if i failed the exams.

Then i said that i will manage my studying better, which meant studying all day long since for someone else an article of around 25 pages might be a 2hour read but to me it might take a whole day. I have to add here that i was homesick since the first day i came back from the holidays and the fact that there are different problems back home it makes me wanting to be there even more. After the first couple of weeks the readings or my pressure for the assessments got more and now i've reached the point where as soon as i get something in front of me to start reading it and seeing that after a couple of pages that it takes a lot of time for me to read it, i get so stressed and panicked that i just stop. I know i'm losing precious time for my assignments right now but i have no motivation, excitement to do anything, even different chores or just having an appetite to eat. Even the results of the exams, which i passed all three of my classes, didn't even make me feel any better.

I'm seriously thinking of dropping out because the thought of the assignments or the dissertation makes me anxious and right now honestly overwhelming. I haven't talked with anyone about it. But unfortunately it makes me feel bad about the money that i already spent,the different opportunities that i will lose in the future, the disappointment that i feel for myself, the disappointment of my family and friends, and especially of my mother.