======= Date Modified 29 May 2009 15:47:19 =======
OK - apparently my post was too long! Here's the rest of it ...

I believe that some desire for recognition is completely understandable. At this point in postgraduate education, there’s a lot of criticism without much applause. A promising child (and sometimes even a promising undergraduate) receives loads of encouragement and accolades. A promising postgraduate student... usually does not receive repeated reassurance. At some point we need to remember that we’re in an odd limbo that many career-oriented people do not experience. We are still students but also in the early stages of a professional career. It’s a stage where we need to affirm our own potential, because most postgraduate supervisors find it unprofessional or perhaps condescending to repeatedly applaud their advisees’ promise. But I hate the idea that a desire for recognition is somehow base or ignoble! It is human nature to want to leave a mark on the world. And as people in the prime of our youth, why should we stifle our yearning to make a difference, to be acknowledged? The life of a student can feel incredibly anonymous and demoralizing– there’s nothing wrong with wanting to show the world what you can do.

So I suppose the question is: what can you do to cultivate your academic zeal and fulfill the desire for recognition? Keeping a research or brainstorming blog might be a relatively simple way to share ideas and get feedback from others. You never know who might stumble across it...I’ve been contacted a few times because of things I wrote on the Internet. A blog is also a good way to share the non-academic part of you & explore how that part interacts with your drive for research. Sometimes your research will affect you personally, and it’s good to explore that: no matter how analytical people think academic research is, personality is still a vital component of every study in every field. The research journals of ancient and more modern scientists alike prove this to be true.

Another option might be to look into postgraduate conferences or other ways of presenting your research. Even attending said conferences can be a great motivator & way to network with others in your field.

Anyway, I know this is really long, but hopefully this response helps a little. Feel free to email me if you want to talk further (aletheis (at) gmail.com).

======= Date Modified 29 May 2009 15:48:25 =======
======= Date Modified 29 May 2009 15:44:19 =======
Eueu:

(Apologies in advance for the length of this reply, for jumping in as a first-time poster, & for talking about myself a fair amount...)

I very much understand your feelings on these subjects, as I also struggle with these issues. I started my MA/PhD program at the age of 20, officially entering PhD at age 22. (It’s an American program, so somewhat longer than UK programs in my field – e.g. we have to complete separate PhD coursework & exams in addition to a final dissertation.) It was difficult at first to relate to others in my program because they were older than me and ... didn’t seem very passionate about their work. However, several new students were admitted in my 2nd year – they were a bit younger and very driven; they also shared my sarcastic sense of humor. Sometimes you just need to be patient & trust that you will meet the right people. Sometimes the people who end up heartening your work actually are in different departments. Interdisciplinary collaboration has produced some exciting results, e.g. MIT’s institute for integrative cancer research: http://web.mit.edu/ki/index.html

Also, I was able to meet other colleagues through my advisor (who is prominent in my field & very well connected). Perhaps your advisor can introduce you to other like-minded PhD students? At the very least, you can meet up at conferences or start an email correspondence with them. I do think that academic community is vital to encouraging one’s research –indeed, the earliest models of the university were founded on vibrant exchange of ideas – so it’s important for you to find some kind of supportive academic community.

Regarding feeling “old” – I’m struggling greatly with this right now, at the ripe age of 25 - even though I know it’s illogical & unhelpful to obsess over age. It may be useful to consider why you feel this way. Personally, I think that it can be difficult for people who were identified as “promising” or “gifted” to reach the pinnacle of schooling. I had looked forward to postgraduate education my entire life & I expected to fly through it like I had every other level of education. However, I found that there was so much I still didn’t know... so many weaknesses / personal demons to confront... it can be depressing to be so close to one’s goal & feel so distanced from it. The very nature of earning a PhD brews a mess of insecurities about one’s lack of knowledge... while it’s essential to cultivate humility, you cannot let your insecurities overshadow how far you have come & the potential you still have. Still – I know how it can feel to have all this energy inside of you, a great yearning for discovery. This is not something egotistical or otherwise bad! It’s evidence of an essential passion for research. You just need to find how to direct that energy into a useful pursuit (obsessing over your age or what you haven’t done yet – these are not good uses of that energy).

[see next post for continuation...]