i really hope that doing a phd doesn't lead to the demise of the realtionship! this is one of the things that concerns me in fact - i'd be worried about starting the phd knowing this is a possibility - it's soemthing i would like to do but perhaps not so much at the expense of losing the person i love and the chance to start a family with them. i wasn't thinking of having kids now, there and then, was just perhaps thinking a phd might get in the way of that in the longer term, and it might bet better to just get some job so that i'd be stable. The other thing is that accepting this place means long distace relationship for three years (VERY ling distance) or uprooting my partner from his work, and taking him off the career ladder he's on and having the uncertainty of finding a job in a different city (differnt country as well). He said he would do it although i'd feel bad for making him, because it would be a big sacrifice for him. It's such a hard decision!

thanks, its good to have some other perspectives on this :) Shani how old are you if you don't mind my asking? are you planning to take a break from your studies to spend time with children if you have them in the middle of studies, or just take maternity leave and put them inoto day care asap?

Ok so, you are struggling with lots of hard work. so that means you have to be rude? I thought being rude and scornful like that was more to do with someone's personailty, but as you say maybe I'll understand when I'm a proper PhD student like you. ;)

So, all PhD students are grumpy and arrogant?

Hi, thanks for your replies, it's nice to hear other people's thoughts on the matter. I just found an read an old thread about this kind of thing too. To start a family mid-PhD doesn't sound like something I'd opt for, those people who do manage to juggle both must have so much stamina and have my respect :) As for the comment about sorting out one's own life before bringging another into the world - I agree, but I don't know that in my opinion doing a PhD really constitutes 'sorting out my life'. Smilodon was it difficult to get back into doing your PhD when you returned? Do you think it would be less difficult to juggle the two if your daughter was a few years older

Someone who is so scorning of 'silly' questions and doesn't consider that it may not be obvious where to find this kind of information to some people just doesn't fit in with my definition of 'nice guy' and would not be the kind of person I'd like to spend three years around! If you don't want to take the time to answer those 'silly ' questions ok, but why should you get annoyed by someone asking them? It seems like a sensible idea to ask questiond about postgraduate study in the UK on this forum. I was looking at doing my study abroad and it was really quite difficult to find info on how the system works in the country in whihc I intended to study, although it was probably very obvious to the people from there.

I really hope I will not be working with people like jouri when I start my studentship.

hello, thank you for the reply! Thats an interesting idea, to get pregnant during the PhD - do you think that's do-able? For me that'd be an ideal compromise just i have seen friends (undergrads) who have kids and it seemed like a LOT of hard work, and perhaps can't devote as much of themselves to their studies as possible which i know can be done during your undergrad, but when I read posts on here sayingyou need to give 100% to your PhD, well...I dunno if I'd be able to have a child AND do that!I just feel like I'd be able to cope better with having kids than doing a PhD right now. I know I'll be spending the next three years feeling frustrated that that part of my life is being put on hold, and perhaps i'm just doing a PhD cos its what everyone 'expects' of me.

I was offered an excellent PhD position to my great surprise in Feb. I was given a few days to decide whether or not ot accept, and in all the excitement I did. However now I have had time to reflecct, I am wondering if it is really the right thing. I mean, I know I am fairly capable in my subject and can work hard, but I dont't know HOW hard and whether I could for a sustained period. Also i wonder if it would be better to start the PhD later and look for a job now and start making plans to have a faimly in the next few years rather than continuing study; something I have been considering a lot. I know if i turn it down everyone will call me crazy, and I'm not sure if my partner would be ready for settling down as soon as i'd like to either. It's hard to know if it's just 'normal' concerns about embarking on a huge project like this or whether I am making wrong decisions, and starting postgrad study for wrong reasons. I would really appreciate any thoughts from anyone else who has felt like this

Hi Walrus, I think it is based in Clifton, that is where I stayed and it took me about 10-20 mins to walk to the interview place anyway! Is that the expensive part then?

Yes, masters, I spoke to my project supervisor for 20 minutes on the day of interview.

Hi, Thanks for the replies! My PhD is in Neuroscience, when I went for interview the city seemed quite nice but it's hard to tell just from one visit!Did you know any of the neuroscience profs? I'm quite excited but also a bit scared because I just don't know what to expect!

I was wodnering what that was!! I was afriad my houses structure was unstable or something.

I got rejected for a couple of interviews despuite having an 'excellent' CV and really good refs, I was told by my advisor to just apply for loads and loads cos theres lots of competition, and not to be disheartened. I did this and eventually got 2 interviews! I also get the impression there are postions going year round; I keep getting 'spam' about PhD positions from other unis from my faculty office ;)

I got the impression when I went for mine that they just wanted to see how motivated you are. Just act enthusiatic and like you're willing to work hard and like you *really* want to do it. be yourself though! I got asked a few technical questions and had trouble answering them lol, still got the offer. I've heard that different places have different interview styles, so I don't know if that of much help anyway!