Hi, I just wanted to add something from the point of view of a person with a job, that academic work is nothing like employment, so I really think you shouldn't worry about that. I don't know if by 'job' you mean academia as a career, in which case ignore my input, but if not, then you really don't need to compare the two.

I think writing a thesis, because its a very personal thing and you know it all relies on you, is very different to working for someone else, where you can be more detatched and relaxed about what you have to do, and more likely to be given targets and specific things to work on. If you find the right kind of job that you feel engaged with, you won't have any problems being productive, and employers don't expect you to be 'go go go' all the time (unless you become an investment banker or something :p)

I have loads of 'lazy retard' moments at work, as do most people - you just feel it more when you're thesis writing because you only have yourself to answer to, but it doesn't mean you won't be great at whatever job you end up doing! I think academically minded people are probably much harder on themselves than most, because they've been trained to be such hard workers. Luckily, the 'real world' is pretty forgiving :)

It might not be what you're after, or very fashionable (!) but I'm personally completely addicted to Agatha Christie audiobooks - you can download them from Itunes for around £8-£10. I think its something to do with the way everything fits together so neatly at the end, it's reassuring when things you're working on are so complicated and seemingly without end!

Thank you all so much for your replies, its really nice to hear other's opinions! I'm at the stage now where I've been put forward for an internal funding application. I'm still very uncertain this is what I want. I've even made sure they are aware of this, and they still want to put me forward and see what happens!

If I do decide this isn't for me, do you think it would be better to withdraw before finding out the results? The idea of turning down an actual studentship is so completely terrifying!

Thanks for your advice. I am looking at doing it part time because I don't want to give up my job, and a connection to the real world! In terms of motivations I'm still working on that one! I'm fairly sure I don't have the singlemindedness required to become an academic (my field is the humanities) so its more a case of it just keeps niggling at me to do it! Partly because I just love writing about my subject.

I don't know if that's enough though. I really hope that the department would understand if I changed my mind before starting. That seems like a much safer thing to do that change it after starting! Actually sending them an application feels like a pretty scary thing to have done...

OK bear with me, because this is going to sound really nuts!

For the last couple of years I've been dithering about doing a PhD - I got really good results, I had an interesting topic, etc etc. But I really wanted to join the 'real world' and now I have a lovely job that I enjoy. But the niggle won't go away!

I've been corresponding with a potential supervisor who's really keen, and I'm...sort of keen but it feels like such a huge thing to do if I'm not 100% sure. But I filled out all the necessary application forms anyway - basically did everything except press the 'submit' button!

Which I just did. And now I'm really freaked out! I just don't know if I'm doing this for the right reasons - it was more a feeling of having to do something, just because I'm fed up with wondering 'what if'?

But the thought of the school getting my application and taking time over it when I'm not feeling sure about it is awful! As is the thought of being offered funding, should that happen, and not knowing whether to take it.

Will they think I'm totally mad if I withdraw the application a few hours after making it?! I just don't know if I can face 6 months of worrying about it...

Hi all, have been lurking for a while now, and finally decided to come out with my own question!
I'm in a bit of a confused state right now, and would love some advice/reassuring words. I graduated with a first in 2006, and since then have done an MA and an MSc, with a distinction in both. Along the way I had so much encouragement to apply for a phd, as I was 'good funding material', but even though I find the potential subject fascinating, I always felt that I wanted to do something more practical (it would be in humanities).
So I ventured out into the 'real world' and so far am feeling pretty disillusioned - I'm missing being able to research my own area of interest and having to work for someone else rather than myself. I also really miss the subject itself - I don't think its a case of just not knowing what else to do! It's only been six months, but I'm starting to wonder if my decision to leave academia, which I was so sure about until a few months ago, was the right one.
Now I feel so rushed to make a decision and take some action - I've been thinking about it since November, but for some reason haven't been able to motivate myself to sit down and write a proposal, although I did contact a few places. I've missed most of the funding deadlines, and all of them unless I really rush things now, and I know the most sensible thing to do is wait a year, but I feel under such pressure to do something about it now. To complicate things further, my partner is studying in Manchester for the next 2 years (I'm working in London), and it seems more sensible to get on with it now and be students at the same time, possibly even the same place.

So I suppose I'm looking for some advice about whether I should try and sort out an application for September this year, which would be a rush if I want to get funding (it seems silly to go ahead self funded if I have a reasonable chance of getting it) or just calm down a bit and wait for next year. That option is more sensible, but it scares me because I'd feel like I'd failed by not organising myself in time, and I'd be at least 28 going on 29 by the time I finished. Also it condemns me to another couple of years of the dreaded long distance relationship, although I know that's not a good reason to make decisions like this.

Sorry for such a long post! I would really appreciate any thoughts people have about working a few years before Phd study/how to decide if its the right thing to do/coping with relationships along the way.x