I'm in my first few weeks of a phd that I honestly feel woefully inadequate for, I literally feel like an undergrad again... And cannot honestly see how I can obtain the new knowledge, whilst research and write.
To give a background, my phd is in the cell biology with chemistry elements, although my own experiences have been forensic related, providing me with a chem/bio balance, definitely not the level of cell bio my fellow new phd colleagues have. I interviewed and obviously they knew my background, I was offered the spot, but I seriously lack the kind of knowledge my cohorts have, I honestly feel like sometimes they're talking a different language! Even learning the lab stuff, I'm sure some of them are just looking at me in disbelief!
I cannot realistically see how I can do it, why they'd have found me suitable or whether I truly have the passion to see this through. It's made me so down lately, I think i have had bedtime tears at least 7 of the last 14 days, surely this is an omen?
I did pursue forensic phds in my area, forensic bio, but they are so hard to find, funded anyway, I interviewed for one and was told frankly, they had received 5 times the normal amount of applicants this year, and unfortunately many from individuals who had years and years of experience in industry, looking to career change.
I really do not know what to do, I have found the job market a struggle, and although this phd was my 'fallback' I may have fallen too hard.... What happens if you leave a phd in the first few weeks/months? Do you get hounded for money? Can you ever do another? Should I stop being a moron in only my first few weeks?
