My inclination went crazy just after starting my phd and pretty much stayed that way after i got together with my boyfriend. However i am just keaving my phd so maybe the sorts your talking about are the dedicated sort who are too busy and happy with their phd to find anything else

As long ass you dont get them too young from their mum then they should have learnt the basics already as a litter tray would have been provided when they were little. I think it depends on the litter - i think the best is tescos own brand clay stuff. De-poo it every day or so and then change once a week (thats what i have to do with two cats) the only reason the place would start stinking is if they are going to the toilet somewhere else other then the litter tray. Mine did that for a while - behind the boiler and i couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from - only to find this pile of dry poos - very gross!!!

I had to wait for ages to get them - i missed having pets all through my undergrad and then after i didn't want to get any when i was in a shared house. I've always grown up with animals and it changes the whole feel of a home when you have them. the only bad bit is everything gets furred!!!

Good luck jradetzky, i like a pro-active approach to problems, i think time out is a wonderful idea. I hope that through your conversion, you find someone who can help and counsel you (they're not specialists tho - i do not think praying will sove all yours or anyones problems) and i hope you find someone special in the long run.

now, now sylvester et al, i've been away for a bit but i dont think jradetzky was implying he was converting to christianity purely to pusrue that girl. I think he has taken a very academic approach to trying to solve his problems (it may not be how some of us would approach things, but hey whatever works). I also think that what we have been saying has not been ignored but none of us are experts or know the whole story so dont get in a huff if your advice hasn't been taken. Getting back to the academic approach - perhaps this conversion will help jradetzky one way or another; he will either find someone who meets his high standards or he will dosciver that even in the most likely of places the person he is looking for doesn't exist (or is somewhere else). I have planty of femail friends who are using a similar approach to try and find 'the one', i'm not saying it will work but thats for them to discover.
No harm, no foul!!!

I never want children - they are responsibility enough. Besides they get in right strops if you go away! Oh the girl also likes chasing the mouse pointer on screen and trying to catch it from behind, stupid thing!

I have two cats, i got them as kittens from my mum's cat. They get on so well together and so funny to watch. The boy is a big tabby and likes eating and sitting and purring loudly and thiats it. the girl talks to me (i've taken this post to a whole new level haven't i?) if i say something to her she will meow back (usually its 'do you love me?' or 'are you beautiful?' and she will meow a yes). she insists on sitting on any importnant looking papers so when i was reading through piles of papers i would have a special 'princess' pile for her to sit on. The boy likes sleeping on satin-like throw on myh bed or diretly on the sheet - not the duvet - and sometimes under the covers in his 'bear cave'. The girl has taken to sleeping round my head and insists on snuggling between my boyf and me in the morning and nuzzles all hands so that they are stroking her.

You have to sell yourself as someone who has realised that the phd wasn't for you and has taken some very proactive, thoughtful and couragous steps to sort it out - interviewers love that approach as it shows a lot about you.
As to leaving and then job hunting or not - it depends on if you can manage financially and if not, if you can fake some more interest and motivation while you job hunt. It is against the law to give a bad reference and you are not obliged to put your supervisor down as one - an old employer would probably be more relevent. If your at all worried about how they might react - take someone with you to the meeting - one thing i have leaqrnt is that academics dont follow the normal codes of conduct for working manners, i could have dragged my supervisors to court for harassment if i so chose to and i would be within my rights. Take someone for support and to witness anything and i am sure they will play ball.

As i said in my post yesterday - in the job interviews i have been to so far have, the people have not for a second taken it as a bad thing that i decided to leave - i told them that i had been unhappy for a few months and had decided to proactivly look at the reasons for my unhappiness, and that by doing this i reaslised that the sort of career that would make me happy and use my skills well, did not necessarily depend on my having a phd. So with this in mind i thought it was only fair to leave the phd for someone who could pursue it to the end and hopefully further as it was a very interesting and relevent and worthy topic. I also stated that after realising that i did not need a phd to get where i was going, i wondered whether i would have the motivation in a years time to do the topic justice.

Hi Angie, i started my Phd 18 months ago, so pretty far in i suppose. HOWEVER, a collegue who was in their final year (i.e. over two years in) decided to leave in december so you would not be alone.
Foxy, i spoke to the careers counsellors attached to my uni - they were really really helpful (it was definitly counselling) they made sure i was doing what i really wanted to and for the right reasons. As to the timing - as you can see from the date of my first post, i strung out the actual leaving for financial reasons. I would receommend going to your careers people, having a chat with them, deciding what sort of work you would like to go into and then sorting out your c.v to fit that sort of job.

I made sure my c.v. was the targeted sort (i.e. not chronological) and highlighted all of my skills and thus no need to focus on my time as a research scientist!!! its all about how you present it. Anyway, happy endings seem to be out there - i appear to have my dream job (time will tell but i'm very rose tinted at present) and there seem to be quite a few other very positive posts. Just remember, its not about changing your mind or making the wrong decision in the first place - its about making a more informed decision based on experience and evidence, and the only winner or loser will be you.

I haven't posted for a couple of months but i have finally quit (my supervisor wasn't that shocked!) I spent some of the time i had off sick (due to extreme stress induced insomnia) looking for jobs (in the environmental field) and getting my c.v sorted (recommend prospects.ac.uk) Had three job interviews and got two offers out of it. No seemed to really mind that i had decided to leave - i think just starting one is impressive enough - it shows you have the brains in there (somewhere). I made sure that i explained why leaving was a positive thing and a brave step and they all seemed to really respect that

in case anyone is still reading this thread and is thinking about quiting i thought i would keep you posted on how my attempts are going. I am not sleeping and am very stressed, have sleeping pills from my doctor and my supervisors are not making it easy and i haven't even told them i'm leaving yet (they just think i am considering my options). It all sounds very dire to a reader but i am still going to go through with it and thought it would be helpful to anyone considering leaving to have an honest account. Thank you for being so nice to me cyber phd people i know i am doing the right thing, but man, heres hoping the light starts shining soon!!!

p.s. i love that this country is so polite - there were a lot of comments that unintentionally (i hope) must have offended quite a few people - jradetzky at the very least - and yet even then, everyone politely expressed their opinion without being rude. Good luck jradetzky, x

but the thing is you felt that way and wanted to continue with it if possible (in a slow and controlled way - nothing wrong with control, maybe that was your attractio to someone who was more girl like - they wouldnt try to push you too fast, rather then the pedo implications made by other posts). I still think it will take you a while to find someone but thats probably a good thing because i dont think you're ready for anything until you have resolved your issues. I am an eternal optimist when it comes to love - i am sure you can find someone eventually and more importantly from what you have written, i belivee that you do actually want someone and that with help you will get past your 'clinical' approach to love. Hugs and kisses to everyone!!!!