Thank you.
It's been a very rocky year. I was on anti-stress/antidepressants after a panic/anxiety attacks outburst during the 5th month of my studies, followed by a double-break on my left arm, and two surgeries. I had to postpone my studies for 3 months to recover from the plaster but I only got out of anti-stress pills 2 weeks ago.

She supported me during my time off; she is a good person, but when it comes to work she is obsessed and a career-person. And I think she sees this, as a chance to further improve her own career and relations with the industrial company that is also sponsoring me.

I felt overly proud of myself about the fact that I was working hard to meet my deadlines, even under celexa, even under physio for my arm. My whole life turned upside down during last year, my weight got worse, my sleep pattern was bad due to meds, but I was determined to hit that confirmation report.

And when I did, she told me that she's not happy because I missed this or that, and that being back in uni means I should operate 100%. But it's never POSSIBLE to operate 100% while on mental medication and having metal plates in one's body...
I wanted to manage a successful confirmation report, so that I can slow down before Christmas and enjoy holidays. She was the only person who told me that my conf report's not good enough, and the only person still pressuring me to work harder and harder when I am really out of fuel on this turn :( . And this , being out of fuel, is killing my future motivation...My industrial supervisor, and other people that've read my report, tell me I've done an amazing amount of work. But it feels like, my main supervisor, is never satisfied and I doubt she ever will?
And it's really getting to me, especially since I am still fragile from my health accidents :(

Hello everyone, I am a 33 year old Phd student that has just completed and passed his confirmation/transfer report for the first year.

I am having serious problems with my supervisor. So far, I've read stories about supervisors that are ignorant and couldn't care less about their student. My problems are the complete opposite. She comes across as obsesed with work, constantly pushing me and my research to the way she thinks it should go. I haven't made a choice of my own in months, I have no saying on what to read, or what meetings or seminars to attend. I get out of hours emails, sometimes at 4 am in the night as well !

I am coming to dislike my PhD, because I never get to explore my own ideas; I am working on someone else's pace (And I am not a lazy student, I came in PhD from doing 9-5 in the Software industry for years, but I do not work more than 8 hours a day !). And still, despite my best effort (after a year with two surgeries and anti-stress/antidepressants) I am receiving frowns, disappointment, more changes and more pressures. I had to cancel 4 meetings with her this week, telling her that I don't want to meet 4 times in the Christmas eve week, when I have not much to discuss anyhow !

At this point, I am even considering dropping my PhD even though I just succesfuly passed my confirmation/transfer; but I want to first get some opinions on how to solve such issues. I am sure she know I am mad at her, and I know she might be mad at me too.

I just want to do research, in my own pace, like most PhD students I know do and get a degree...

Should I talk to my second supervisor? Wouldn't it stir things up with the main?
Should I talk to the post-grad support?

Any advice is welcome...