Hello Wowzers, HazyJane & metabanalysis - thanks for your helpful suggestions. I'm in the UK and have been to a counselling service before just to see what help was on offer but I really didn't like the advisers who seem to think the cause of all problems is down to our parents. I don't think that's the case for me at all! CBT seems effective for a lot of people, though I'm personally not keen on trialling any medication. I only have a problem very specifically to do with presentations, I'm otherwise fine in undergrad practical teaching and have no issues speaking to them or to peers, just my superiors!

I decided in the end to withdraw my paper and doing so is a massive relief. My supervisors are on holiday, but I should get the chance to speak to them soon as I want to be as courteous as possible. I've signed up to a presentation workshop to give me the opportunity to practise in an informal setting and try and build my confidence again. I don't know why it's so low on this occasion. At the moment, I feel too shy about my voice for drama or a choir but I'll look into it...it's the audition part that bothers me, maybe I'll drag a friend with me :)

Thanks all for being so supportive, I think these have been the rockiest few days of my PhD so far, hopefully learning to cope better now will help towards the pressures of final year.

Bewildered - thanks for your reply, really helpful to have your thoughts. I've been to the counselling service, but it's not something they advise students about at my Uni. They suggested a GP might help, but I've just moved house and there is a waiting list. I know it's surfaced as a problem that will need to be addressed at some point. In the short term, I think I'd feel more comfortable telling one supervisor first, then the other - partly because she supervised me for my MA so knows me better, though my relationship with both is very formal and my second supervisor would need to know also. Relieved to think it shouldn't cause too many problems for me to pull out, hopefully next summer I'll be better prepared, more experienced and relaxed about it all.

It would be really helpful if people were willing to share their experiences of either suffering from PhD-related stress/public speaking anxiety or perhaps to hear from anyone who has withdrawn a paper before.

Last month I attended an international interdisciplinary conference and gave a paper which my supervisors had been very critical of and had been revised about 5 times before we could agree on a final version.

In my discipline (Geography) it is common practice to give a 'read' paper, so the full script of 2,500 words was written and re-written countless times. It was an incredibly stressful, nightmarish experience.As I'm a second year PhD student, immersed in fieldwork I have barely had a chance to consider the emerging themes and it's really stressful trying to pull the data together into a formal paper (they expect publishable quality writing).

My problem now is that I'm supposed to present at in a huge conference, in a session which my supervisors have organised (next week). My fear of public speaking has come back with vengeance!!

I'm now so traumatised by the last time, that I'm suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, which is unusual for me. I see no option but to withdraw from the conference. I physically feel unable to finish the paper draft and would rather do ANYTHING that stand up in public again. I feel overcome with worry and guilt about damaging my relationship with my supervisors and fear that somehow I won't be ALLOWED to withdraw my paper. It's making me doubt whether I can even finish my PhD because of the Viva. I've never experienced these feelings before.

Any advice greatly received!!