======= Date Modified 27 May 2009 22:43:49 =======
Hi,



First of all can i just say that as I was reading this, I thought that some of it honestly could have been about me! I am also a 23 year old first year PhD, and the people I work closely with are all much older (my supervisors late 30s). Some of the students working on related fields I feel have established more of a working/social relationship with academics--I feel, based on the fact that they too are older (27+), and probably more confident. Sometimes I feel like my supervisors do not take me seriously because I can stll have very childish, immature moments, look young and at times am not very eloquent. Much of this is probably me being insecure, but recently my secondary sup. had a dinner party and invited some students but not me. I know this wasn't a personal thing, and that he would have had his reasons, but part of me just thought--he wouldn't 'fit in' at one of my dinner parties,so obviously he thinks i wont fit in at his. I took this personally.



Despite this, most of my close friends work in environments such as advertising, retail, fashion, along with other young, like-minded people, and as I am sitting in my room re-writing the most boring conference paper in the world, I can't help but worry about my mis-spent youth! It's ridiculous, because I am doing something amazing, which i love.



I honestly think (and frequently remind myself) that this is just a phase, a kind of awkward age where you were only 19 (it seems) 5 minutes ago, but at the same time, that feels like a life time ago, so you're kind of caught in between wishing to be that age, with no responsibilities, and wishing to be a bit older, so you have some respect.

ALSO, I TOTALLY get the feeling old thing. I've actually been panicking about it for about the past 6 months. I know it's ridiculous, but it is definitely not uncommon, I have lots of friends who also complain about feeling 'old'.

Hi, can someone please help me, because this problem is preoccupying me.
Basically I have submitted some work to my supervisor and it has incurred very negative feedback. His comments are completely justified and make sense. I was struggling with this work (he knew this). Anyway, his feedback still stung a bit. I feel like he did not spend adequate time with it (because there is good stuff in there somewhere!), and instead neglected to read it all (because to him it was too irrelevant). He pretty much told me to go away, think about it, suggested ways which might help me better it, and contact him soon to discuss.

I was very gracious, saying 'thank you' etc, and that I'd meet him this week...until I read his comments (too many times), I started to take it personally and let my feelings get the better of me. I then (stupidly) sent an email saying that I was now going to work on it myself for a few weeks without him because there is clearly no point in him trying to help me until I can sort myself out. I said I'd contact him in the upcoming weeks. It was a bit ridiculous to tell the truth, saying things like "I've wasted my time and yours". Completely dramatic. He didn't reply to this (he ALWAYS replies). I've annoyed him.

Now I need to go crawling back to him. I need his help. When I am sane i know i put far too much on him, he's a very god supervisor and i need to accept he has a life and other responsibilities.

Does anyone else have this problem of finding it hard not to rely too much on their supervisor? I can't seem to accept that he's not going to hold my hand. he frustrates me so much for the tiniest thing. I think he doesn't have much respect for me which frustrates me even more!