Hi. I've been with my current boyfriend for 5 years. We decided that the relationship was serious enough that we'd like to go to grad school together, and since I was a year ahead of him in school, I would take a year off before grad school so we could apply the same places and decide together. All 4 years of undergrad were long distance. Now that I've graduated and moved, we see each other every weekend.

Admissions decisions are in and I should be elated--we both got into our top choice programs (at UC Berkeley). However, during the application process he decided to apply to 1 school that didn't have a program in my field-U Chicago. He just got back from the recruitment weekend and had the time of his life/met with a PI that would love to have him as a PhD student doing top notch research he's only dreamed of. He still hasn't visited Berkeley, so it's not yet a done deal. I don't want to hold him back because I understand how important the lab you get your PhD in is, but I just don't think I have it in me to do long distance again. My masters program will only take 2 years, but I just remember how hard undergrad was--using every break from school to leave and visit, talk on the phone at nights instead of going out, etc. It really affected my college experience, and I don't regret it. I'm just not sure I want to do it again. Emory had a great program for me (I'm getting my MPH and dream of working for the CDC someday) but didn't even view it as an option b/c there weren't any good PhD Chemistry programs around. Again, no regrets. I'm really excited about Berkeley!

Also: I've heard horror stories about maintaining relationships when 1 partner is getting a PhD. Assuming we both do go to Berkeley, how hard is it to keep the relationship going? Having been together for so long, we definitely have a good foundation. But I have the type of personality that likes to get all of my work done early and relax at night/go out on weekends. He's definitely a prograsinator/night owl and homebody, though goes out enough to keep me happy, but I'm worried that with the stresses of PhD he'll NEVER want to go out.