======= Date Modified 25 Aug 2011 12:31:28 =======
I am more than 2 years into my engineering PhD and it has become more and more apparent that I do not want to stick with it. My self esteem and motivation have gradually been destroyed over the last 2 years and I am certain that I do not want an academic career. The project I was attached to is now over and I gained good experience doing it but I just don't see the point in writing a whole thesis about it.

The reasons I am still doing it:
1. Shame of quitting. I have never quit/failed anything before and worry a lot about how friends, family and employers will view this
2. Not wanting to let supervisors down

Here is the problem:
I have 3 supervisors, 2 of which actively dislike each other and disagree on everything, particularly on the focuses of my PhD. One of them is a head of department, a nice guy who is encouraging but perhaps an optimist. The other is a frank pessimist who is a talented professor but an academic bully. He crushes all of my ideas and actions and while the way he does it may be unreasonable, I suspect he may be right and I am unsuited to the PhD (he even gave this impression in the interview - i was coming to electronic engineering from physics). It has always been difficult, uncomfortable and counterproductive talking to both of them at the same time.

I need to discuss my dilemma (to quit or not) with somebody, and need help in figuring out the best way to go about it. If I had a single supervisor it would be much simpler.

Who do I talk to and how do I do it?
An email seems too impersonal and wimpy
Talking to 1 supervisor would be ideal but I have multiple and it would look like going behind the back of the others
Talking to all 3 is near impossible, it is difficult to have a personal chat all 3 at once, particularly when 2 of them have such opposite personalities and disagree with each other almost on principle. This would be easy to arrange since there are supervision meetings but I am terrified of it turning into an interrogation involving both good and bad cops.

Please help, I appreciate all of your feedback and comments and will answer any questions