======= Date Modified 20 01 2010 21:01:12 =======
Hi everyone,

I was wondering whether I could hear some opinions on my situation.
I am 18 months into my PhD, and in October I had my transfer viva. Despite passing all the formal requirements really well (a report and a transfer viva), my supervisors recommended to the director of studies that I should not transfer because I am not ready in their opinion (they say I lack an enquiring mind and background knowledge)

So that was 3 months ago. I have been working like a crazy person to address their concerns, I've written the introduction to my thesis to show I do know my stuff now, and have been trying to ask smart questions in our meetings. They've set me a target of three papers that I need to have written by the end of March (I have collected the data for these already), and one of them I've handed in this week. Then there'll be ANOTHER viva. I've said to myself "I can do it!", even though I think I'm being tested harder than anyone else in my department who failed their transfer (mind you, I technically didn't fail mine). But I guess as a PhD student you can't compare yourself to your "classmates" anymore, so that's ok.

Now, today there was progress meeting with the director of studies, my transfer assessors and my supervisors. Despite all my hard work they had little nice things to say. The actual pieces of work were ok, but they criticised all sorts of woolly things, like the fact that I don't go and grab my supervisors for help often enough and don't often enough say that I don't understand something.

The truth is that I don't really get on very well with my supervisors, and even more so since they stopped me from transferring. Every time I open my mouth I feel I'm being judged. I can't have an informal, relaxed chat about things with them and sometimes my mind just goes blank. When they're in the room I become totally unnatural, stiff and wary of what I say and do so they don't think I'm thick. I wish I could have a normal relation with them, being friendly and positive and encouraging. But it's not like that at all.

This is no way to be!! And definitely no way to do a PhD. I feel I've go no one in my corner and my confidence is getting smaller with each of those dreadful you're-doing-it-all-wrong meetings. I'm wondering, should I go for a master's and try my luck elsewhere? My topic is interesting, but not my heart and soul. All my zing to show them what I can do is out of the window after today's meeting. I just feel useless and not quite sure I'm cut out for this.

Thanks for reading it all until here - I'm really looking forward to your thoughts on my situation. Has anyone got experience with repairing a weird supervisor relationship? Or do you reckon I should cut my losses since I can't seem to get it right?

Thank you!!!