I started 5 moths ago ...... changes from one topic to another because of institutional structures ..... I made my first discussion a few days ago but now when I look at it it all sound very shitty. I feel like I know nothing!!!! I have developed anxiety attacks and extreme nervousness, my voice shake, I freeze when I talk, I feel extremely stupid. I have read so many papers until I feel so exhausted by it....nothing is going forth and time is running by very quick!!!! I wanna pack up and go home but that would be cowardly. I feel like am going loco and it hurts ...... it is not just supposed to be this tough.....I like challenges but ones where you can move forward not stay in the same place for over 5 months!!!!!!!! ..... I just feel like I need little support in this phase, it is not forthcoming!!!!!

happiness GONE! feeling LOW ALWAYS! NOBODY CARES!