Some supervisors are control freaks and expect you to ask them for permission whenever you do anything, irrespective of Postgraduate Regulations.

Make sensible decisions though.

I quit my PhD because my supervisor was intolerable and the University breached its own regulations, refusing to provide a new supervisor. All I got out of it was an apology, which is a lot more than most will get unless they're prepared for 1-3 years of litigation and a paltry payout.

I got out, couldn't care less about my former supervisors reputation and no matter what anyone says, knows, thinks etc, no-one and nothing will stop me from starting another PhD, if and when I choose to do so! :) I started my PhD without knowing what I was letting myself in for. I chose a poor supervisor and paid the price. Now I know better, feel much more confident and will not settle for 2nd best.

I've been in an identical situation and I agree that to a certain extend you are trapped - perhaps accepting this for the benefit of your future may help?
I know it didn't help me, because I could not accept my supervisor's bad behaviour - I ended up quitting after 2 years.

PhD takes about 4 years including writing up: thus assuming your doing a full-time PhD in the UK

- You'll have 2 children in the next 4-5 years
- You'll take 2 years leave in total
- That means about 6 years, from the day you start, to complete your PhD
- A further 3-6 years postdoctoral work before academic tenure becomes a viable option = 9 - 12 years to obtain tenure from when you start your PhD
- Academic work in the sciences is inherently stressful - definately will never be a 9 - 5 job - more like a lifestyle
- Will your family be able to deal with the changes that occur in you personally due to the effect of an intense workload, that you often have to take home with you?

- If you intend going into industry after the PhD, then 9 - 5 is entirely possible as this is an industrial pathway and not really an academic (tenured) pathway.


Alternatively, you could look at a part-time PhD?

This is my advice to you. If you find that you are not getting on with your supervisor, either ask for another one or change PhD's. The worst thing in the world is to have a supervisor that treats you like a child - there are plently of them in the UK - some academics still believe that all students are children.

You can start a PhD anytime in life - if you don't like them, sack them, leave or go and find another PhD - don't wait until you're 6 months down the line to make this decision - be assertive - if a supervisor doesn't appreciate you being assertive then its a very clear indication that you have the wrong supervisor.

If your supervisor is on your side, then all is well and you have nothing to worry about - trust your instincts and act accordingly without asking anyone else for for advice - this will empower you to make decisions that are right for you!

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Tough one really. Fall out with your supervisor and you can almost kiss your PhD goodbye. Alternatively, if there is a straightforward mechanism in place for a change of supervisor, this may be worth exploring, but tread carefully because the walls have ears in the PhD world as am sure you know. Alternatively, you could go on an assertiveness course (secretly) - this should give you this skills to get through it.

I think that honest advice is the best advice, and having been through the PhD game, I can honestly say that unless you take some positive action (I suggest the assertiveness course), then you're at a high risk of not completing because it sounds like a breakdown in supervisor/student relationship is on the cards without drastic action being taken. Remember, they have all the power until you pass that Viva - its as simple as that - get smart!