hello again gals and guys,
you may be thinking, "what's it this time?!" and you're quite right. But, instead of complaining I'll try and simply ask for an opinion and/or advice. So, I found out i'm pregnant....(yes, really, 8 weeks) and one shouldn't say before the first 3 months have passed but i feel i'm getting trouble already, even before anyone at uni knows....hmmm. The fact that I am expecting isn't bad (am married and husband delighted) as such and i definitely plan on going on working until delivery (if things go well etc) but what will probably be bad is my supervisor's attitude. She already "whipped me" with quite well-chosen poisonous words when i came late last week because of a doctor's appointment and because of a residence permit renewal (i explained well in adavnce that one does not not renew their residence permits etc). She said it's up to me if i want to waste my time on unnecessary matters and looked peevishly around. She also told a colleague who was going for an operation that it didn't matter if she was gone from work because they could always hold the meeting via the phone the day after the procedure....yikes. I just wonder, what do you think is my supervisor going to say when I break this piece of news after the New Year and how to break the news?:$

Hello Twinkle! You bet I'm fed up! especially when my supervisor, who's only just finished 2 years ago and never had a Phd "student" before, insists on speaking to me like to her masters flock.....And by the way, i used to have that screen-name elsewhere and love it!:-)

hello Phdbug, i wish I could help but I have NO clue. is there noone at your dept you can ask (receptionists/secretaries are very wise and knowledgeable people)

i just got out of a mess like yours. Mine lasted for four months and included more than 600 versions of the work. I felt pathetic when my computer asked me whether I was sure I wanted to save version 603 of this document.....So what I've learnt, Bobby, is that you keep two versions running simultaneously. One for your supervisor and one where you feel confident and have made earlier adjustments the supervisor came up with. You'd be surprised how many of the old, complied with and later discarded supervisor's wishes turn up again! I guess supervisors need time to make up their mind and need to see the material in "several colours" before they can decide anything.
Another thing i tried is to rewrite the whole thing in a completely new style after I showed it to a person who isn't an academic to see what they think. It helped a lot, so if it's feasible for you to do so, you may want to try it. Keep strong!;-)

Vicky,
my dad comes from a working-class, completely poor family and he made it all the way to being a professor. If you love something, do it. Because just like when you have a craving for for instance chocolate, no amount of celery sticks will make it really go away. :-)
I believe in your success already!

Hello again all of you! i thought of writing back individually as I didn't expect such interest in my problem but i think it's faster and easier this way. First of all, THANK YOU for writing back! It makes life much easier when there's other people, strewn across the globe, going through similar stuff.
I think I agree with all of you but can't really do some of the things you suggest. So it seems like I'll have to rise above this issue and just filter her out. I have a power-point presentation of my work I'll have to hold for the dept (yikes!) and she'll be there...I am actually looking forward to it and have some quite personal and disguised messages for this person ,). We'll see how it goes. Wish I could change institution as one of you has, but it is out of the question for now.
For those of you who advised me not to take it and speak up, I actually "exploded" in the canteen queue the day after I posted the thread. She always makes sure she has the last word and disappears, so I'm afraid my bold statement about the absurdity and inadequacy of her remarks only entertained the cash-desk lady and the queue behind me (including many from our dept. as i found out later on...hmmm).
Good luck to you all and thanks for being here for all of us.:-)

hello everyone,
maybe some of you remember my post from July about my supervisor who was far from nice...thank you for your replies and input! Alas, nothing much has changed except that I have developed a thicker skin and ways of dealing with it, and, on occasion, getting my way by good old-fashioned tricks on my supervisor's memory.( I know, sounds awful, but supervisor number two seems to agree with me, despite not knowing of the methods i resort to at times) However, now there is someone in the department who goes out f her way to let me know how useless I am, that what I am doing is not research and that she feels sorry for me doing such inferior nonsense. This person has never once bothered learning a little about what I do and herself is a supervisor to two others who, based on others' reports, don't seem to be moving forward all that much. I don't know and don't really care. I just want to get on with it, be allowed to enjoy it and try and be civil. The only people I have a decent relationship with are the masters students and one of the aforementioned phds. What I don't get is why this person is doing that to me? I have nothing much to do with her but she really goes out of her way to try and put me down. I stay calm and let her talk, then just answer that I can show her if she's so interested. But then it bugs me later on because I hate being treated badly without any logical explanation or reason....So, would you call this bullying and has it happened to you?

hello there! Sorry to hear about your situation. My suggestion is to check out Phd comics online www.phdcomics.com/ ! yes I know, it sounds lame. But they helped me more than anyone or anything. You worked really hard and now you finally got some results. OK, so they are here now and not 3 years ago, but THEY ARE HERE!! Yipeeee! Dive into it and work your ass off the next 6 months. If things continue looking bad, quit. If they are on the way up, you made it. No matter what happens, you have education and there's other places apart from your homeland and Canada. Good luck!:-)

Because I wanted to try and change things instead of just reading about them and wondering why they are the way they are.....I haven't changed anything yet, but i am in my first year still:-)

Now the weekend has passed and I read all your comments and calmed down. Thanks a lot guys! OK, I'll try and see this as just another bump in the way....it's a pity things have to be this way though. Why can't people just communicate a little better...I mean, if she just honestly said that she's really stressed out/can't do it/is afraid of it...I would never ever judge her in any negative way. So she knows other stuff. We can't all know everything. And by the way, I am not working in a lab . Pharmacy isn't all lab, you know . Best wishes to you all!

Hello everyone who answered! I think I need to clarify things a little. Thank you for your replies by the way! I am analysing the effect of certain medications on the foetus and pregnancy outcome - so pharmacy is my field. To your advice on being polite, I actually haven't been quarreling or answering back or refusing to do anything...yet. I see your point entirely. All I needed was some other points of view since I'm new and don't know what is normal and what isn't. Yesterday my tutor/supervisor told me she wants all my SPSS syntaxes since she hasn't the time to do them herself...So I said nothing. That's my problem now.

I've been working on my PhD for the past 8 months and can't get the hang of my tutor. i actually had to fight her to be "allowed" to do analyses I thought would be interesting (they were, confirmed by tutor no 2 who lives out of town!), got an idea which she literally stole (got witnesses) and am in general being bossed around and ridiculed. I tried telling her both diplomatically and bluntly, but she's got some kind of armour and seems completely unaffected. Talked to the head of dept. who agreed with me too but no change has happened. HEEEEEEEEEEELP!